It would be ho-ho-horrible to spend Christmas behind bars, yet people still manage to get arrested over this joyous time of year.
So don't be a merry moron, avoid these five dumb ways to get arrested over Christmas:
1. Christmas DUI.
Planning on tipping back a gallon of "special" Egg Nog this Christmas? Well it won't be the nutmeg that lands your loaded kiester in the back of a squad car for driving drunk.
Not only should you have a plan that involves a designated driver if you plan on hitting the holiday sauce, but AAA is offering drivers safe ride services on Christmas and New Year's Eve in many areas. So there's no reason to be driving even while buzzed on Christmas.
2. Seasonal Shoplifting.
The allure of new toys and video games might be enough to drive some naughty children (and adults) to shoplift over Christmas.
No matter how tempting it might be to take a five-finger discount, remember that shoplifting is a crime, and it may end up ruining your holiday.
3. Christmas Tree Trespassing.
If you're getting a tree at the last minute, tree lot markups and even Christmas tree taxes may make cutting down your own tree an attractive option.
However, you can be arrested -- and possibly even shot at -- for intentionally trespassing on private property, no matter how many untouched Douglas Firs it has.
4. Santa Shenanigans.
Dressing up in a white beard and red suit does not insulate you from arrests. And whether it's groping, thieving, or puking, Santas often end up in jail for crimes pulled on or around Christmas.
And don't think that dressing up as Santa will allow you to get away with breaking into people's houses either.
5. Cannabis Christmas Candy.
Want to send your child to school with some festive holiday treats to share? Keep the "green" out of Christmas and avoid letting your kid distribute pot-laced chocolates to their classmates.
Even in states where marijuana (recreational or medicinal) has been legalized, distributing it to children will definitely land you in federal custody.
Here's hoping you stay out of police custody and in Santa's good graces this holiday season. Merry Christmas from all of us at FindLaw!
- Shelby County Sheriff's Office arrests The Grinch, saves Christmas (Birmingham's WBMA-LD/WCFT/WJSU)
- 3 Ways to Challenge a Shoplifting Charge (FindLaw's Blotter)
- How Your Christmas Tree May Attract Criminals (FindLaw's Blotter)
- 5 Dumb Ways to Get Arrested at an Airport (FindLaw's Blotter)