Dumb Criminals - FindLaw Blotter

FindLaw Blotter - The FindLaw Crime and Criminals Blog

Recently in Dumb Criminals Category

Two Burger King employees in Epping, New Hampshire, were discovered this past week selling marijuana through their employer's fast food drive-thru window. When the police went to visit the home of the Whopper, they were served marijuana alongside their food. One of the employees was charged with possession with intent to distribute, while the other was charged with conspiracy, as well as unlawful possession of alcohol (neither are over 21 years old).

Local police discovered that there was a special procedure for buying marijuana from the Burger King drive-thru which might surprise some. When a person reached the speaker to order, they could ask if "Nasty Boy" was working. If the answer was yes, then by ordering "extra crispy fries" a person would receive marijuana along with the order. After Nasty Boy handed over a cup filled with marijuana, both he and his assistant manager were arrested.

Cliven Bundy, cattle rancher and man who believes "the Federal Government does not have any ownership interest in the Bundy Ranch," (a.k.a. federal property upon which Bundy was illegally grazing his cattle) is currently in federal custody, charged with sixteen felony offenses stemming from an armed standoff with federal Bureau of Land Management officers near said ranch in 2014. Bundy appealed his indictment on the grounds that "the land is not owned by the United States."

A federal magistrate judge denied Bundy's motion to dismiss his charges, so he appealed to the federal United States District Court. Unsurprisingly, that federal judge also denied his appeal.

There are few things worse than hate for a person to expend their energy and mental wherewithal on. One of those few things is live streaming you and your friends torturing an innocent person while yelling politically and racially charged statements. In what should be held out as an example of just sheer brazen stupidity, four 18-year-old teens have been arrested as a result of a Facebook Live video they posted of themselves torturing another teen.

While it is unclear what the motivation for the torture was, what is clear is that the victim was subjected to an awfully scary situation, was physically restrained, verbally and physically assaulted numerous times, and threatened with death, all while being video recorded.

Because of the young age of the perpetrators, despite the racial and political statements, law enforcement has been hesitant to actually call this a hate crime rather than just kids making stupid mistakes and saying things to get attention. Sadly, at one point during the video, the woman making the video asks why no one is watching her live stream.

As everyone should know by now, school shooting threats, even if intended as jokes, are not cool and can get you arrested. For those still unaware, look no further than a 17-year-old high school student in California who allegedly left a "very crude" note in the school's office that included a specific threat to "shoot up the school and kill staff and students."

The student was promptly identified and arrested, and the school was shut down for a day.

Despite how rare it actually is that a criminal conviction will be based upon a fingerprint, thanks to the popularity of televised cop dramas, some would-be criminals go to extreme lengths to avoid fingerprint detection. Over the last few decades, numerous stories have emerged of criminals literally cutting and burning off their fingerprints. Shockingly, even plastic surgeons are being asked to help alter fingerprints.

Technically there is no law against a person altering or changing their fingerprints. However, other laws may be able to use an altered print as evidence for another crime. Also, it should be noted that changing a fingerprint does not remove a fingerprint. So after a fingerprint has been altered, a person will continue to leave fingerprints. If a person has changed their fingerprints, it is likely that any prints they leave will be more identifiable than they were before.

Additionally, fingerprints cover a person's entire finger and palm, and those with altered fingerprints may find themselves getting their full hand "fingerprinted." Simply the edges of a person's fingerprint, if not completely changed, can lead to a positive identification.

Perfectly reasonable laws can sometimes lead to some wacky lawsuits. Usually, it's due to some lawyer with a novel theory on how to apply the law. Recently, a Pennsylvania judge dismissed one such wacky lawsuit against the Sands Casino.

Basically, a Pennsylvania man sued the casino claiming that he suffered damages because he was convicted of battering his fiance there. He claimed that the casino was at fault for serving him too much alcohol. Fortunately, the judge in the case wasn't having any of that nonsense.

You'd think certain places would be out-of-bounds, even to criminals. At least, that's what Union County Sheriff Eddie Cathey thought, after the arrest of two thieves accused of breaking into 15 churches across 5 North Carolina counties. "It takes a special kind of criminal to target a church as a place to steal," Cathey told the Charlotte Observer. "A church should be off limits."

But pastors and parishioners can rest easy now that Justin Ray Patterson and Amanda Nicole Hickey are behind bars, and their weeks-long crime spree has come to an end.

Woman Faces Life in Prison for Fake Rape Fantasy Ad Responses

Some people can't take a break up and they want to make their exes pay when their love doesn't last. But a 29-year-old California woman is learning the hard way that revenge is a dish best not served at all.

Michelle Hadley could spend her life in state prison after responding to rape fantasy advertisements on Craigslist in the name of her ex-boyfriend's wife, according to a statement from the Orange County District Attorney's Office. She is charged with numerous felony offenses, including six counts of attempted forcible rape.

Sure, you can physically hand your ID or driver's license to your friend. And your friend may hold it in her hands momentarily, while pointing and laughing at the goofy look you're sporting in the picture. That friend can even pass it to another friend, while pointing and laughing and saying, "Look!" All of that is perfectly legal.

It's normally what happens after you give a friend your ID that matters.

All rape is bad. Raping a person is bad and witnessing a rape and doing nothing makes you a bad person. But witnessing a rape and deciding, "Yeah, I need to livestream this" makes you a bad and dumb person.

Raymond Boyd Gates is the bad person who allegedly raped a 17-year-old. Marina Alexeevna Lonina is the bad and dumb person who allegedly livestreamed the rape on Periscope. Fortunately, both bad people are currently in jail and have been indicted for crimes that could keep them there for 40 years.