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This is why we can't have sweet things. Sugar is delicious, but it can kill you. High fructose corn syrup may also be deadly. And the two sweeteners have been locked in a sour legal battle over naming rights and advertising.

Can corn syrup call itself "corn sugar?" Is it "natural?" Do we care? Can you just put it into a 64-ounce soda and give it to me, please? You can see sugar's complaint below.

As the means for music copying and dissemination have expanded, artists and music companies have struggled to assert their copyrights against online music piracy. 

Copyright lawyers have legitimate claims when people illegally download whole albums without paying. However, what about the case where a mom posts a YouTube video of her toddler dancing to Prince's "Let's Go Crazy?" ... Maybe just leave that one alone, lawyers. 

What's become known as the "Dancing Baby" lawsuit just turned into a victory for fair use advocates and a defeat for copyright holders.

The district attorneys of Los Angeles and San Francisco have filed suit against Uber, accusing the ride-sharing company of unlawful business practices.

Among the allegations are that Uber charged customers a misleading "Safe Rides Fee" without providing real background checks on drivers. Uber is also being called to task on "Airport Fee Tolls," charged to UberX customers who traveled to San Francisco International Airport.

What does this suit mean for Californians who use Uber?

The city of Portland, Oregon, filed suit against Uber in state court on Monday, ordering the ride-share company to cease operations until it complies with Portland's laws.

In a press release Monday, the Portland Bureau of Transportation (PBOT) announced its lawsuit, noting that it would ask the court to verify whether Uber was subject to and in violation of Portland's transportation rules and regulations. Commissioner Steve Novick, who oversees PBOT, announced the city is prepared to issue civil and criminal penalties against Uber and its drivers for operating without permits and inspections.

What's Portland's beef with Uber?

Fox Sued Over 'Simpsons' Character; Actor Wants $250M

You might recognize Frank Sivero from such films as "Goodfellas" and "The Godfather Part II." But what about "The Simpsons"?

Sivero apparently recognized himself in a semi-recurring character on Fox's animated television series "The Simpsons." Sivero has filed a $250 million lawsuit against Fox claiming that the character Louie, who has appeared in 16 episodes of the long-running hit show, is based on the character Sivero "developed and played" in the 1990 mob film "Goodfellas."

What's the basis of Sivero's eye-popping lawsuit?

The Seventh Circuit has written a scathing rejection of a "scandalous" class-action settlement by in which a lawyer inserted his father-in-law as a named plaintiff and negotiated a $2 million advance on his fee.

Judge Richard Posner wrote in the opinion (attached below) that the lower court should have heeded dire warning signs. 

"Almost every danger sign in a class action settlement that our court and other courts have warned district judges to be on the lookout for was present in this case," Posner wrote. "The district court approved a class action settlement that is inequitable-- even scandalous."

Lead attorney Paul M. Weiss' agreement was structured to pay him and his co-counsel $11 million. 

Though the settlement was valued at $90 million, the class "could not expect to receive more than $8.5 million from the settlement, given all the obstacles that the terms of the settlement strewed in the path of the class members," Posner wrote.

A delayed General Motors recall that led to at least 13 deaths was caused by "a pattern of incompetence and neglect" throughout the company, an internal report released Thursday said.

GM Chief Executive Officer Mary Barra announced that 15 employees -- many of them senior legal and engineering executives -- have been dismissed and five more have been disciplined after the probe by former federal prosecutor Anton Valukas.

Valukas' report, described by Barra as "brutally tough and deeply troubling," is attached below.

Barra has confirmed that GM will soon begin compensating victims of crashes linked to the faulty ignition switches that have plagued the company for over a decade, The Associated Press reports. The program is expected to begin taking claims August 1 of this year.

GM officials said that the number of fatalities related to the part defect may rise. Reuters reports that at least 74 people have died in crashes similar to those GM has linked to the faulty switches, based on an analysis of government data.

Friday Forum: Can You Find a Way for the NBA to Boot Sterling?

It's the topic that won't die: Donald Sterling is a racist.

Of course, those of us who paid attention to the L.A. sports scene have known this for years -- there was the refusal to rent to African Americans, and the time he brought women into the locker room to view his players' "beautiful black bodies," relays Deadspin. His former general manager, NBA legend Elgin Baylor, who admittedly had a bone to pick with him (litigation was ongoing at the time), compared Sterling's management of the team to a plantation, reports Yahoo.

But with Sterling's lifelong suspension, imposed by NBA Commissioner Adam Silver earlier this week, came an interesting question: can the league force him to sell the team?

Obviously, with the NBA and Donald Sterling being private parties (as opposed to the government, which has its own set of powers), any ability to force a sale is going to have to come from a contract: the NBA bylaws. The formerly secret bylaws were released by the league earlier this week, leading to lots of speculation. One lawyer, writing for Fox Sports, argued that the bylaws don't provide such an authority.

We'll toss the question to you, dear audience: do these bylaws support a forced sale? Hint: Article 13 - Termination of Ownership or Membership begins on page 36 of the PDF (page 26 of the document).

Tweet us your best legal theories, in 140 characters or less, to @FindLawLP.

Whatever happens, this battle won't be resolved quickly. Though the NBA has a long queue of interested buyers, Sterling has let it known that he'll file suit to block the sale, under breach of contract or antitrust claims, reports the New York Daily News.

For Sports Law geeks, this is going to be fun to watch.

Northwestern University football players on scholarship are university employees and may unionize, a National Labor Relations Board hearing officer ruled on Wednesday.

The first-round legal victory by Northwestern players has the potential to shake up the world of big-time college sports. But the fight has just begun, as this is likely just the start of a long, arduous legal battle.

Still, the Northwestern football union ruling (attached below) is groundbreaking and could prove revolutionary.

NLRB regional director Peter Sung Ohr ruled that ex-Northwestern quarterback Kain Colter and current players are employees and entitled to form a union.

Universities have long argued -- successfully in court -- that athletes are not employees.

But Ohr disagreed, ruling Northwestern's players work between 20 and 50 hours per week and generate millions of dollars for their institutions. He illustrated how they perform services under a contract of hire (scholarship), subject to the other party's control (coaches) and in return for payment ($61,000 per academic year at Northwestern; $76,000 for those players who attend summer school).

Northwestern promptly announced it plans to take the case to the full NLRB in Washington.

"This is a landmark decision," William Gould IV, a former chairman of the NLRB, told the Chicago Tribune. "This is going to rattle the universe of universities."

The legal battle for compensating college athletes just began in earnest.

Airline Lawsuit Over Sex-Toy Prank Survives at 5th Cir.

A lawsuit against an airline for allegedly taping a sex toy to the top of a checked bag should survive a motion to dismiss, the Fifth Circuit has ruled.

The complaint for intentional infliction of emotional distress, invasion of privacy, and negligence can proceed, the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled in an unpublished opinion (attached below).

The lawsuit claims the sex toy had been removed from their luggage, covered in a greasy foul-smelling substance and taped to the top of one of their bags.

The bag was circulating on the luggage carousel at the Norfolk Airport when the travelers discovered it, the ABA Journal reports. The plaintiffs argue that airline employees targeted them because they are gay men.

The defendants -- United Continental Holdings, Inc. and Continental Airlines -- argued the plaintiffs' suit was preempted by Article 17 of the Montreal Convention, which governs airline liability, including liability for damage to baggage. But the 5th Circuit disagreed.

"The alleged misconduct in this case simply does not relate to any damage to plaintiffs' duffel bag ... rather, plaintiffs seek a remedy for the way in which their bag was utilized to inflict personal injury," the court ruled.

The case was remanded to the U.S. District Court in the Southern District of Texas.