Greedy Associates

Greedy Associates - The FindLaw Legal Lifestyle and Career Blog

You know the feeling: after a hearty "business lunch," you return to the office only to realize that you're staring out the window, having trouble concentrating, and slumping a little in your chair. I'll just rest my eyes for a few quick ...

And then you're out. The post-lunch blahs are awful -- until they're remedied by the post-blah Starbucks. What is one to do?

Try eating these five things for lunch instead.

This is fun: Above the Law just ran a caption contest on a photo of some dude's (or very hairy lady's) leg, which is now adorned with a tattoo of a law review citation: 11 Ohio St. J. Crim. L. 827 (2014).

We (read: I) have nothing better to do with our lives, so we dug up the article, the author, and then wondered what other terrible law-related things people could get tatted on their bodies. Because, you know, nothing says "legal professional" like a citation, or a scale, or Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's portrait in the form of a tramp stamp.

Well, law school is over. The bar exam is over. And yet you still have a pile of casebooks from 3L year -- as well as a smaller pile from previous years you couldn't get rid of because the federal rules advisory committees have to change the rules every single year!

Sure, you could sell these books and make about 18 cents on the dollar, but that takes time and it's no fun at all. Instead, consider these seven more creative uses for Chemerinsky's Con Law book. Plus, it's an excuse to use power tools.

Practice-ready, for the most part, is a myth. Yeah, you may do some clinical work, but it's a whole different game when you don't have a professor double-checking all of your work, and when you have to handle everything, from intake to trial to appeal, all on your own.

So how do you go solo out of school without crashing, burning, and ending up as the defendant in a malpractice suit? Here are a three ideas for getting practical experience, listed from best to worst:

Another website is testing the boundaries of what constitutes "legal advice" -- in much the same way your friends criticize you and then walk it back with, "Just sayin'."

Pro Se Planning Inc. operates websites where non-lawyers can fill in some forms and get customized legal paperwork. Except that allegedly, they don't always work. Latoisha Van Buren is suing Pro Se Planning in Louisiana, Courthouse News Service reports, because "the company is not licensed to practice law in Louisiana and any contracts for legal services with nonlawyers in the state 'are absolutely null.'" (An employee with Pro Se Planning declined to comment to CNS about the suit, which seeks class certification and an injunction.)

What could this website possibly be offering that's so offensive to our noble profession? I put on my hazmat suit and ventured to their website to plan my perfect divorce.

It's a dog-eat-lawyer world out there, and resumes can make a world of difference. But there are many myths about legal resumes that you'll want to dispel.

Resumes, of course, are how you get your foot in the door. But don't treat them as the be-all, end-all of getting a job; as Business News Daily points out, "A good resume will get you an interview." The rest is up to you.

When it comes to resumes, the truth is that there is no one "correct" way to craft them. There are, however, five bits of advice that either don't matter or have outlived their time. Here's what lawyers and law students need to know:

If there's one universal goal among all students, especially law students who have to deal with "the Socratic Method," it is not to look stupid in class.

When I originally thought of this post, I was going to write it with 1Ls in mind, but then I realized that these lessons are applicable to all law students. It's just that if you are a 2L or 3L, you may have learned some of these lessons the hard way.

Here are three tried and true ways not to look stupid in class:

#DearFindLaw - Advice for New Lawyers and Law Students from @FindLawLP

Greetings from Louisiana, where I got to laugh along as my brother spent $300 on a single Contracts casebook -- what in the blue-bound hell is academia coming to when a textbook costs more than my second car? At least he isn't paying California rent.

Speaking of law school orientation, one of our regular readers wants to know what to expect when he enters those hallowed halls. (Hint: It's mere puffery.) And another desperate and anonymous reader wants to know what exactly he should do about his dead-end job.

Here's our take on those topics in this week's edition of #DearFindLaw:

Whether you're a seasoned 3L looking to diversify your wardrobe (or you need a new wardrobe after three years of lunchtime "pizza provided" meetings and lectures), a 2L looking to start your wardrobe, or an honest, no-foolin' lawyer who hasn't bought a new suit in years, the fact is: You need a suit. (It actually is necessary to keep up with contemporary styles so that you don't look like you bought your suit in the 1970s.)

We come in all different shapes and sizes (full disclosure: Your author is a spindly gentleman), and as it turns out, not buying a suit right off the rack is difficult for many people.

For those of us who don't have the same proportions as mannequins, where do you find a suit that fits? Here are three practical tips:

As "Shark Week" is coming to a close, and as we've spent most of "Legal Shark Week" co-opting the term, part of me wonders why lawyers can't be analogized to more sympathetic creatures, like kittens or koala bears.

So let's take a bite out of the "lawyer shark" stereotype. Here are our Top 5 choices for other animals -- some wise, some magical -- that we'd rather be called than sharks: