Greedy Associates - The FindLaw Legal Lifestyle and Career Blog

April 2011 Archives

Police ordered a judge out of a Florida home at gunpoint Easter Sunday after they thought she was a burglar, only to find they had gone to the wrong address.

Broward Circuit Court Judge Ilona Holmes was ordered to come out with her hands up when Sheriff's deputies turned up at her sister's Deerfield Beach home following a report of a burglary, WTVJ-TV reports. The burglary report was for the home next door, but a bad address meant they turned up at the wrong place.

DUI Lawyer Sues Strip Club: Was Too Drunk to Spend $18K in Booze

A Florida DUI lawyer has sued a Miami strip club for getting him so drunk he became "temporarily unconscious" and ran up a $18,930 bar tab.

Mark S. Gold, known in South Florida for specializing in traffic cases, sued the owners of the all nude strip club Gold Rush in Miami-Dade County Court, Courthouse News reports.

Could 'Tax Lady' Roni Deutch be Headed to Jail?

Some attorneys love to see their mugs on TV.

They buy huge amounts of TV ad time during the day or late at night, usually making bold claims about their legal skills.

That's exactly what attorney Roni Deutch, a daytime TV mainstay known as the "Tax Lady," has been doing for years. She runs incessant ads extolling her ability to get anyone out of a jam with the IRS.

Well, it looks like the "Tax Lady" may well be headed to jail.

Paul Clement Leaves King & Spalding Over DOMA Defense

In a surprising move, former Bush Solicitor General Paul Clement has left King & Spalding after the firm announced that it would withdraw as counsel representing House Republicans in defending the Defense of Marriage Act.

While Clement and others are focusing on the politics behind the decision, more attention should be brought to the limiting conditions that the engagement contract placed on the firm's employees.

Taco Bell Wants Apology from Firm Behind Fake Meat Lawsuit

Taco Bell big wigs must have been pleased when the lawsuit accusing them of hawking fake meat tacos was dropped. Pleased, perhaps; but apparently not satisfied.

No, Taco Bell took the unusual step of taking out full-page ads in national newspapers to call out the law firm that doubted their taco meat.

That's right, Taco Bell is demanding a public mea culpa from the Alabama firm Beasley Allen.

Could Vampire Litigation be the Next Hot Practice Area?

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A vampire epidemic is spreading across this country, touching courts from coast to coast.

People are blaming vampires and vampire-related TV and movies for a lot of ridiculous behavior in this country.

HBO's True Blood may well be to blame for the biting of a 3-year-old boy on the neck. And for an Arizona "vampire" sentenced to three years of probation for stabbing his roommate after he refused him his blood.

Dream Lawsuit: Sears Sues RockHard Over DieHard Sex Spray

Sometimes you hear about a lawsuit and just wish it had been you who handled the case. Jealousy hits as you ask yourself "Why couldn't I have gotten that case?"

Prepare to be jealous, this time of the in house counsel at Sears.

The Sears legal department recently discovered DieHard "sexual enhancement" spray, a desensitizing product that shares its unfortunate name with the retailer's line of DieHard car batteries.

How to Trick Your Firm Into Thinking You're A Better Employee

Face it: most of you probably don't like your job.

Between long hours and tedious work, you're likely having trouble keeping a smile on your face.

But with layoffs looming, you need to convince the higher-ups that you not only like your job, but that you spend a lot of time doing it.

If this sounds like you, we've got a few suggestions, and they won't make you look like an idiot.

Man with Pink Scarf, Swim Goggles Robs Bank to Pay off Court Fees

Clients do the most ridiculous things sometimes. But what do you do with one who takes stupidity to another level?

In a move that could have only been inspired by watching The Little Mermaid one too many times, a man has confessed to robbing a bank while dressed in swimming goggles and a bright pink scarf.

He was also toting a tuna can designed to look like a bomb.

Woman, 66 with Terminal Cancer, Tackles Armed Bank Robber

People who bill massive amounts of hours in a tall building sometimes lose touch with what's going on out on the street. So here's an inspiring story of heroics at a bank.

Ah, did the word bank perk up your interest? Thought so.

Well if you ever actually set foot into a bank branch again, keep in mind the story of again in your life, remember what Helen Dunsford did at her bank recently.

Renee Green really was trying to rob a Florida bank on Friday, and sixty-six year-old cancer fighter Dunsford definitely tackled the would-be bank robber, body slamming her to the floor.

The Most-Visited Law Professor Law Blogs

How many of you wish you could knock out some of those required continuing education credits with a little blog reading?

Well you can't, so deal with it.

Or, at the very least, be wise with your time and only read the ones that everyone else does.

Seriously--you already permitted law school and law firm rankings to dictate your career path, so why not let visitor numbers dictate what you read?

Professor Charged with Battery for Closing Student's Laptop Screen

For many, memories of law school classes include a laptop.

You're sitting there, pretending to listen intently in your Corporations class while you scan fantasy football stats or cute kittens frolicking on YouTube.

Now imagine if that law professor were to make his way over to you and shut your laptop screen. What do you do?

Your a law student, so naturally you would sue him immediately.

Associate Charged in $32M Insider Trading at 3 BigLaw Firms

Being a greedy associate at a law firm can mean more than just wanting a monster spring bonus. Sometimes it means being really, really greedy.

A former associate has been charged in an alleged $32-million insider trading scheme based on information he obtained while working at three of America's largest law firms, officials said. Matthew Kluger, who specialized in merger and acquisitions for Wilson Sonsini Goodrich & Rosati, will be arraigned in federal court in Newark Wednesday, The Star-Ledger reports.

Kluger is also accused of misappropriating information on mergers from Cravath Swaine & Moore; and Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom.

Drunk Judge, Wrapped in Bedsheet, Arrested in Hotel Hallway

A Pennsylvania judge has landed on the other side of the law after police found him (sans robe or gavel) highly intoxicated, naked and wrapped in a bedsheet in a Cumberland County hotel.

Douglas Gummo, a magistrate judge in Huntingdon County, is charged with harassment, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness.

Police said they were called to the Radisson Penn Harris hotel in Camp Hill on April 1 after getting a call from another judge. Police said Gummo had met the other judge at a conference at the Radisson and he was trying to get into her room, WJAC-TV reports.

Girls Gone Wild owner Joe Francis became rich and infamous for filming Spring Break drunkenness and nudity. Now he's being undressed by a Florida judge for fumbling through his first attempt at being a lawyer.

That's right, Francis has put down the camcorder and beads and is serving as his own attorney in a Florida court and let's just say he hasn't ingratiated himself to the exasperated judge nor the jury composed of 8 women.

Wait till you read about Francis' courtroom antics. It truly appears as though the jet-setting pornographer prepared for his attorney debut by watching My Cousin Vinny.

Yale Law School Applications Drop 16.5%

There has been a general decline in law school applications of late - about a 10 percent drop.

But one school you wouldn't expect to have double-digit dip is Yale Law School. That's right, applications are down at the nation's top-ranked law school.

Yale Law School had a 16.5 percent drop in law school applications at its March 1 deadline, the Yale Daily News reports. The average drop in law school applicants nationwide is about 11.5 percent.