Something dirty has happened in Intercourse.
Isaac A. Stoltzfus, 58, a district judge from Intercourse, Pennsylvania, was cited after handing out condoms hidden inside of acorns, reports the AP. He handed out these condom-stuffed nuts to unsuspecting women in the state Capitol complex.
First things first - the "unsuspecting" women should really have suspected something was afoot. Who hands out acorns on the street? And, as a matter of fact, who accepts acorns from strangers?
Most of us have taken the old adage "don't take candy from strangers" to heart. Maybe we should expand that to include "nuts, and nut varieties."
And as weird as it is to hand out condom-stuffed acorns on the street, it seems equally odd that these ladies had the gumption to tear open the acorns to discover the hidden "surprise."
Maybe they were just really hungry. Though, if you're ever hungry for an acorn, according to multiple sources they aren't really that tasty anyway. Raw acorns are bitter and filled with tannic acid. Prepared acorns have a sweet and mild taste. Unless, of course, yours happens to have a condom stuffed into it by a district judge. Then your acorn will probably just taste like condom.
Maybe Stoltzfus confused women with chipmunks. Though, as elaborate as this alleged prank is, many people consider chocolate (not acorns) the way into a woman's heart. If he really wanted to make a splash, perhaps he should have considered handing out condom-stuffed chocolate bars.
Whatever the case, Stoltzfus was cited and charged with disorderly conduct. As a district judge, Stoltzfus presided over lower-level cases, according to the AP.
- District judge cited for passing out acorns stuffed with condoms (Lancaster Online)
- Disorderly Conduct (FindLaw)
- 'Condom in Soup' Case Reaches Settlement (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
- The Great Condom Heist: 3 Arrested for 725,000 Missing Condoms (FindLaw's Legal Grounds)