Greedy Associates - The FindLaw Legal Lifestyle and Career Blog

June 2011 Archives

Quinn Emanuel Associates Sport Shorts, Flip Flops, Ragged Jeans

Quinn Emanuel's dress code is probably the envy of all suit-loathing associates everywhere.

William Urquhart, one of the founding partners of the firm says that nearly everything goes at the firm: T-shirts, jeans with raggedy edges, and everything else in between. Though, probably not lingerie. Or swimwear.

Let's face it, being a stickler for proper dress code can just be a pain. Walking to court or sitting around the office in stuffy business casual - or even at some places - full on suits - is probably uncomfortable. Sweating in a suit? Gross.

Which States Have the Largest Glut of Lawyers?

If you're an attorney who has been searching for a job - or know of an attorney who's been searching for job (and let's face it, who hasn't in this economy), the term "lawyer surplus" is something you've probably thought about.

And, a new study has quantified said surplus. The results are a bit frightening.

It's one thing to mentally know that there are a lot of lawyers out there vying for the same exact position you are aiming for.

It's another thing to know just how screwed you really are.

Pa. Judge Pays $438, Says Sorry for Being Drunk, Naked in Hotel

Nothing says "I'm sorry for being drunk, naked and disorderly in a hotel" like $438.

Pennsylvania District Judge Douglas Gummo paid a $438 fine after pleading guilty to harassment charges arising out of a strange incident in a hotel in Cumberland County, reports WHTM-TV.

Drunk and only wearing a bed sheet, the judge was reportedly trying to enter the room of another judge, a woman.

Lawyers Earn Some of the Nation's Highest Salaries ($1.7M or More)

For years, people have overestimated lawyer salaries, lumping us in with the wealthy--the group of people that sleep on silk sheets and own two homes and a downtown apartment.

Well, no longer. It's time for lawyers everywhere to fight against this wholesale categorization--to let people know that most of us are not rich.

And we have a lot of debt.

And kind of crappy job prospects.

Best-Paying BigLaw Jobs to Prosecutors With Most Corporate Scalps?

In BigLaw, prosecutors mean Big Business.

Though the majority of firms have been cutting back on overall partner compensation, it appears as though they are still willing to shell out the big bucks just to capture top-notch prosecutors looking to jump sides.

With paychecks in the millions, these prosecutors-turned-partners sometimes make 10 times more their colleagues.

Houston Lawyer Sues Middle Schoolers Over Facebook Video

Want to be a superhero to your kids? Houston man Jason Medley probably seems like one to his daughter.

Medley is leading the fight against his daughter's alleged cyberbullies.

Who is he? A policeman? A firefighter? A noble, kind and strong man? No, he's an attorney.

Yeah, you didn't see that one coming did you?

Strip Club's Lap Dances Are Tax Exempt, NY Attorneys Argue

So your client happens to be a strip club with a delinquent tax bill. And this client of yours really doesn't want to pay a hefty tax bill. Solution?

How about a novel argument that stripping and giving lap dances are "dramatic or musical art performances" and therefore tax exempt? Nice try, but no.

At least, so says a New York Court. Nite Moves, a New York strip club trying to appeal a $125,000 tax on its lap dances from a 2005 audit, reports Reuters.

The court was not convinced, ruling instead that the lap dances were in fact rightfully taxable, according to Reuters.

The Life of a Contract Attorney: Many Don't Get Paid OT, Breaks

Whether you want to call them temp lawyers or contract attorneys, their lives aren't pretty.

Jumping from job to job with mediocre pay (by firm and loan payment standards) without medical or retirement benefits, these wayward souls have seen the darkest side of the profession.

And they're not even being paid overtime to do it.

Ex-Gibson Dunn Lawyer, Harvard Law, Arrested for Child Rape Images

Moshe Gerstein, magna cum laude graduate of Harvard Law School, and graduate of Yale University.

A perfect pedigree for many attorneys.

But, add this line to the list: Moshe Gerstein, among those arrested in New York for possessing horribly disturbing, illegal photos of children being raped and sexually assaulted.

Attorney Objects to Motion's Use of Apostrophes, Possessives

Though she managed to graduate from law school, Anissa Bluebaum apparently never managed to master elementary school grammar.

Or at least that's what her fellow attorney had to say when he responded to a complaint in a civil lawsuit filed by Bluebaum.

Her egregious use of apostrophes made it impossible to tell who she was referring to and when.

Didn't Get That Judicial Clerkship? How About Congressional Law Clerk

A lot of us interview to clerk for a judge after graduating law school. Not all of us get the gig. Did you come up short on that judicial clerkship? Would you want to try to be a congressional law clerk instead?

Oh wait, there is no such thing as a congressional law clerk position for recent law school graduates - even though congress makes laws, and many congressmen were former attorneys.

Though, there may be some movement along the front lines of the congressional law clerkship movement. Last April, a group of legal educators, law students, and politicians gathered in the seedy underbelly of America (Washington, D.C.) to discuss the possibility of creating a congressional law clerkship. The bill was introduced in April by Rep. Dan Lungren of California.

Only 68% of 2010 Law Grads Have Jobs Requiring Bar License

One word can describe the JD employment market: grim. No, make that two words: very grim.

NALP has recently released some of the statistics about the class of 2010, and the results are dismal - and that's a generous assessment.

The survey of about 41,156 class of 2010 law school graduates showed that only 68.4% of them found jobs that required bar passage. JD-preferred jobs accounted for about 10.7% of employed grads, and sadly there were still about 6.2% of graduates still looking for jobs, and about 3.2% who are "not seeking jobs."

Tired of BigLaw? SEC is Hurting for Attorneys to Hire

There's an SEC headhunter in town, and he's looking for excellent attorneys of all shapes, sizes, and luckily, experience.

If you've ever been subjected to the federal government's complicated system of online resumes, surveys, faxed paperwork and the bemoaned "knowledge, skills and abilities" statement, don't worry.

USAJobs is not part of the process.

Overpaid Lawyers? 4,300 Govt Attorneys Earn More Than Governors

Did you know that about 77,000 federal employees make more than the governors of their respective states? Apparently, around 4,300 of these federal employees are lawyers.

Overpaid lawyers. How many attorneys have heard jokes and other snide comments at the expense of their salaries?

Well, now you can add another snide comment to the list - attorneys can make more than the governor of a state.

Weiner Turns to Baker Hostetler Partner for Advice on Scandal

Partner John Siegal of Baker Hostetler has reportedly been retained as Rep. Anthony Weiner's lawyer.

That's right, now that he has scarred us for life with unflattering shirtless pictures, crotch shots and bad puns, the Congressman appears to be gearing up for battle with the House Ethics Committee.

Let's just hope he remembers his shirt and pants.

Lawyer Charged with Prostitution 'Gave it Up' After Passing Bar?

As lawyers, we are often forced to go out on a limb and put ourselves out there for a client. Illinois attorney Reema Bajaj allegedly put herself out there for a whole other reason - prostitution.

Bajaj, 25, was arrested for prostitution after investigators uncovered some e-mails sent between Bajaj and a suspect in an unrelated case. In the e-mails, Bajaj allegedly offered to perform a sexual act for $100, a Class A misdemeanor, reports the Daily Chronicle.

Bajaj is a graduate of Northern Illinois University's law school, reports the ABA Journal.

Jennifer Marie Patterson graduated from the Univ. of Richmond School of Law last month. She also pled guilty to conspiracy to distribute over a pound of methamphetamine, reports the Richmond Times-Dispatch.

Patterson, 33, of Chester, Virginia, admitted to U.S. Magistrate M. Hannah Lauck that Patterson had distributed methamphetamine with a business partner from 2007 to 2009.

The DEA alleged in 2010 that Patterson and a male partner were "longtime methamphetamine and cocaine traffickers," as corroborated by four "cooperating sources," reports the Times-Dispatch.

Watergate Lawyer John Dean Teaching Ethics CLE

Some might think he is not qualified to teach legal ethics, but former White House counsel and Watergate lawyer John Dean is doing just that.

Approved to teach a series of Continuing Legal Education courses across the country, Dean is first going to teach Skadden associates what a lawyer should do when his client is engaged in criminal activity.

Though informed of the entire affair only after the Watergate burglars were arrested, John Dean was convicted of obstruction of justice and spent four months in prison, reports The New York Times.

Porsche-Driving Seattle Lawyer Keyed 3 Poorly-Parked Cars

Attorney Ronald Clarke Mattson is an American hero.

Nay, a martyr.

His cause? Exacting vigilante justice on the perpetrators of bad parking jobs in one downtown Seattle parking garage.

His method? A couple of keys and some nasty notes.

In other words, after keying at least three poorly-parked cars, the 63-year-old veteran attorney has been charged with 2nd degree malicious mischief, which the Seattle Post-Intelligencer reports is a felony punishable by up to 60 days.

Baltimore Attorney Steals Criminal Law Textbook from Courthouse?

Baltimore attorney Stanley Needleman is facing the law more than he's arguing it lately. First, the feds raided the criminal lawyer's office and home, finding more than $600,000 in cash. Now, he is accused of stealing a textbook from a courthouse.

Yeah, that's right.

Needleman has been charged with one count of theft of under $100 for the textbook. He allegedly pilfered the legal volume, "Understanding White Collar Crime," from court clerk Bradford Gorney, reports the Baltimore Sun.

Thomas Jefferson Grad Sues Law School, Unhappy as Doc Reviewer

If you went to Thomas Jefferson Law, a class action lawsuit that was recently filed may mean that you can recover something to compensate you for your $150,000 in student debt.

Lead plaintiff in this newly-filed class action is Anna Alaburda, a graduate of the prestigious - though completely unranked - law school. She graduated with honors in 2008, and went on to secure legal employment post-graduation, where she felt rewarded for slaving away through 3 years in law school and paying thousands of dollars worth of tuition with a glamorous life in BigLaw, earning six-figures.

Oh wait, that's not what happened.

Fake Lawyer Almost Graduated from Cooley, Pleads Guilty to Theft

It's standard lawyer (and law student) snobbery to joke about how a graduate of Thomas M. Cooley Law School is destined to be a fake lawyer, forever floundering in a pool of T14-sized debt with nothing more than a useless TTT education to show for it.

Sadly enough, one Kelly Fulmer of Boone County, Kentucky took this one step further:

He decided to play lawyer for nearly five years--even though he never completed his coursework at Cooley, much less passed the bar.