Just because you're an attorney doesn't mean you should file a lawsuit every time someone infuriates you. It just makes you look ridiculous. And it makes the rest of us look like greedy, obnoxious slime balls.
The following lawyers had to learn this lesson the hard way. Their lawsuits -- most of which were filed pro se -- have been forever immortalized on the Internet for future generations to read. Google them, and details about the following legal missteps are amongst the first things you see.
1. Whiny new attorneys filing employment stat suits. Oh come on. Not only did you go to law school in a bad economy, you went to a third tier law school in a bad economy. It's not anyone's fault but your own that you failed to read the small print or use a critical eye when reading employment statistics.
2. Roy Pearson. If you don't remember this administrative judge, shame on you. He's the originator of the "$54 million pants lawsuit." A D.C. dry cleaner lost Pearson's expensive suit pants in 2005, prompting him to file the multi-million dollar consumer protection lawsuit. Litigation lasted for two years.
3. D. Marvin Jones. This University of Miami law professor sued Above the Law in 2009 after the site chronicled his solicitation arrest. He actually accused the blog of engaging in copyright infringement when it posted his faculty photo superimposed on a $20 bill.
Luckily, he learned pretty quickly that you don't sue Above the Law if you want privacy. He voluntarily dismissed the suit within days of filing it.
4. Richard Katz. This New York lawyer recently sued the Setai Wall Street Club and Spa after it began serving a cold morning buffet in lieu of the usual free, full breakfast spread. Unsurprisingly, a judge dismissed his suit and fined him $440.
Still, he will forever have to live with the fact that he filed a lawsuit over cereal and yogurt.
5. Mark Gold. As a DUI lawyer, Gold should have known better than to drink and shop. He sued a Miami strip club for allegedly getting him so drunk that he ran up an $18,930 tab. His complaint accused the club of causing his intoxicated state. He had absolutely no part in the alcohol and flesh fest, right?