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Lawyers, 5 Things Not to Say During Father's Day Brunch

At Father's Day brunch, a number of things might by swirling around in your stressed out head when your dad casually asks, "How's it going?" But remember, this is a day to celebrate your Pops.

So, in the spirit of helping the worried attorney this weekend, here are five things not to say during your Father's Day brunch:

  1. “I’m not going to law school after all. Please pass the potatoes.” No matter how old you are, you will forever have an irresistible impulse to say something that will push your parents’ buttons. Combine that urge with your parents’ “wanting what’s best for you” (Translation: “Go to law school or we’re cutting you off”), and you will have a clusterf(ather’s day) cued up. Don’t spoil the day. You will regret it. Father’s Day is not the day to share your Tucker Max epiphany.
  2. “I have to move to Alaska — or die penniless. Are you going to eat that?” Unless you’re from the area, don’t whine explain to the Old Man in a hyperbolic manner that all the jobs are in Alaska, the Midwest or back home with the parental units. Remember, your Charlie Brown-esque melancholic dramatic flair wasn’t appreciated back when you were ten. Things haven’t changed. You know what sacrifice is? Working long hours not to go to Coachella, but to pay for mortgages, Little League and dance classes.
  3. “I’m drowning in student loan debt. Ooh, bottomless mimosas!” You, like many others, are swimming in debt and spend sleepness nights thinking about how sad your student loan situation is. Whether it’s fair or not, we love to unload on those who are closest to us. It’s entirely possible that your dad weathered some tough financial times. Chances are, he would hate to see you enduring that kind of anxiety. Venting is healthy, but don’t burden dad today.
  4. “Oh, him? I got him fired. I’m hoping to get his office. What’s for dessert?” Your dad relishes the competitive spirit, but he always kept his feet planted firmly on the ground and stayed good at heart. He served as a role model who instilled a strong work ethic in you, and helped you hold on to your sense of humanity. Don’t let him down by devolving into the cold, manipulative, and somewhat Machiavellian legal stereotype.
  5. “I lose a billable minute every time I laugh. Check please!” You can conjure up memories from your childhood of your dad that immediately bring a smile to your face. The last thing your dad will want to see on Father’s Day is a humorless attorney/child sapped of levity. Everyone has a lot on their plate (at brunch, literally) but you were raised by your Papa to take it as it comes and roll with the punches — always with a big ol’ grin.

Instead, say “thank you”: Thank you for your patience, your strength, your kindness and your smile. From everyone at the FindLaw team, a Happy (early) Father’s Day to all the fathers out there.

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