So a few months ago we included a few resume gaffes that could have led to a smile, a chuckle, or a full on LOL. Well, it's coming up on the end of the week, and we couldn't help but share another round.
All entries are from the witty team at Resumania.com. We especially appreciate their quippy one-liners. Enjoy & happy job-hunting, job-searching, and job-hiring!
I've noticed that it takes only a day of law school, or maybe just even an hour of orientation, for to-be attorneys to begin delighting in legal humor. The humor starts light...a pun or two about torts, you know the low-hanging fruit. And then it just ramps up from there...jokes about the "reasonable person" standard (who is that guy anyway), mockings on the overuse of "widgets" in virtually every Contract question, and afterborn children and unborn widows are just calling for witty comment.
So what happens to that razor-sharp edge once you graduate with your degree. Sure, you can suppress it for awhile but eventually it's going to find its way out.
And we have two great examples to get your week started.
The law is demanding but luckily there are opportunities such as Halloween that allow those in the legal community to chuckle at themselves, and each other, without the danger of being held in contempt of court.
So, in case you haven't landed on the perfect law Halloween costume yet, take a gander at these. Quid pro quo: you may need a legal audience to get the full attention and praise your deserve.
And now, you'll see why...
Together we have shared a heartfelt letter, a list or two, some unsolicited advice, and even a few beatbox-able lyrics...well, it was only a matter of time until there was a movie review. And luckily, the first one is a unanimous "two gavels up" from the FindLaw Jury (consisting of the author...and two gavels).
Hey...hey, hey
So when they said you've got pay to play
Did they mean by going to law school night and day
And forking over more than $90k
Even when you want to go the public service way?
We have all been there. Searching for the perfect job. Or sometimes, searching for any job at all. It's a tough station in life...getting hopes high with a promising job post and then then working furiously to tailor your resume and cover letter, only to hear that they will keep you 'in mind for the future', or never hear back at all. If you are in the doldrums of job searching, don't let up. Sign up for those job listing e-newsletters, go to the job fairs, network your worries away.
But in the process of job search and research, always be ready to laugh. A little at yourself, tactfully at others, and wholeheartedly at the comedy of the career search.
And ripe for the giggles and howls, is Resumania. A seemingly simple landing page with a never-ending scrolling bar and zero graphics may make you wonder whether it was created by your five-year old niece or eighty-seven year old great uncle, once removed. But once you start reading the entries and the quippy responses you will be sold. You may even call your niece and great uncle, once removed, to apologize for doubting them.
Here are some of our top picks from Resumania.com. Enjoy. No really, have a ball.
Amidst economic downsizing, resizing, and other tricks of the tailor trade, law associates may find that they have one more thing in common with their in-house counterparts. Yes, the cubicle.
If your firm, agency, or non-profit is making the shift to cube farms, we want to help you ease into the transition. So you can be the cool new cube kid on the block...the associate that everyone wants to meet, the one who knows all the best new legal jokes, and who can charm the fellas or ladies with ease.
That's right, associate, it's time to pimp your cubicle.
Is it ironic that Chris Brown's "Forever" is the soundtrack to the latest, greatest viral video to involve a spoof of law. If you have your finger on viral video fads, you may have seen the JK Wedding Entrance that was all the craze just months back. Now, while that YouTube-bite apparently depicted an actual zany and entertaining wedding entrance, Indigo Productions has developed this divorce court spoof that supposedly takes place six months after the wedding day.
Entertaining, certainly. But we do have a few questions for the parties involved:
The movement to legalize gay marriage has found its way back into the closet. And this time everyone can join in.
Designers Marc Jacobs and American Apparel have unveiled their line of t-shirts to help equal-rights-for-all enthusiasts make a statement without saying a word. "I pay taxes, I want my rights" can be yours with the choice of an American Flag and dollar sign backdrop or a lesbian couple and child on tshirts designs and sold by Marc Jacobs. Or, to avoid confusion while still showing support, the "Legalize Gay" tee is a bold option being proffered by American Apparel.
Now, like you, we're wondering when Gucci will make a faux mink purse that says "bite
me" to support animal rights or when Prada will unveil its fall line of
sustainable pumps that feature the tagline "carbon footprints are so last
season".
Dear July 2009 Bar Exam Takers:
Over the past few months we couldn't help but notice that we see you a lot less. There have been fewer movie nights, dinners, weekend barbeques, we're playing man-down in tennis (which believe us, is no fun when you're playing doubles) and haven't you missed like four weddings and a bar mitzvah this summer? And when it was a struggle to get you out to catch Fourth of July fireworks, we knew it was serious, I mean aren't you always quoting random res ipsa loquitur cases and assumption of risk premises from your Torts class---which, by the way, for a long time we thought was a baking seminar. I mean, don't get us wrong, we would rather see you when you are relaxed rather than the stressed out ball of energy we admittedly tried to avoid whenever law school final exams loomed nearby.
