Recently in Work-Life Balance Category

We love lawyer jokes, right? How is this one? What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Even better: My lawyer didn't want to marry his wife for her money. But there was no other way to get it.

Alas, these jokes may never go away and let's be honest; we kind of enjoy them from time-to-time. However, not all lawyers are greedy. The Taproot Foundation has developed a social responsibility ranking system for office professionals. You'll never guess which profession is number one.

You aren't a dog person. They smell, chew up your Thom Browne ties, and they bark -- incessantly. No, that isn't a reflection on you, the one who trained the dog. It's the dog's fault. You swear. If that is how you feel, don't go for one of these associate-appropriate breeds.

So feline it is.

A young associate attorney on the rise has merely one factor to consider when choosing a cat: the status symbol. Do you have a large amount of disposable income to spend on an exotic breed? Some of the rarer varieties, while costing up to $3,000 per cat, might be worth it as a meowing manifestation of all of your hard work. (Or you might just have a strong desire for a forty pound cat.) Plus, you're making the big bucks, right? You can't put a price on happiness.

Here are five odd breeds of kittens perfect for a young yuppie attorney:

I knew before I finished law school that I didn't want to practice law. Actually, I knew that before I started law school. But I was really good at mock trial in high school, and my parents thought I was throwing away all that talent if I didn't go to law school. So I went.

It was a bad choice, but it is what it is.

It's 12:17 and I have not yet eaten today. Many of you are in a similar predicament. Our rush for productivity means we skip meals or eat fast food at our desks. We try to work through lunch to maximize productivity, or because we think it'll allow us to get out of the office sooner.

It won't. And it often doesn't. Breaks ironically help us to maintain productivity and to keep on schedule. So, while you may think that skipping lunch means you'll be headed home an hour earlier, the mental slowdown from trying to work eight-straight will probably mean that you'll end up staying late to finish that last bit of motion work.

Lunch is the perfect place to start, not only because I'm hungry, but because it is a common victim of the schedule crunch. Here are five ways to make that break better:

Being a lawyer sucks, law school was a terrible mistake, and you’re drowning in debt.

It’s a popular refrain. I’ve been leading the chorus for years. Maybe it’s time for an attitude adjustment.

Before you dismiss me as a cockeyed optimist who references musicals while doling out advice, hear me out.

While we might like to believe that our personal lives are separate from our professional lives, that's rarely the case.

When Tom Cruise started jumping on couches to celebrate his personal life, his movie career suffered. When General David Petraeus' affair with Paula Broadwell was exposed, he stepped down from his post as CIA Director.

Did either man's work actually suffer? No. But there were consequences nonetheless. Lawyers are subject to even stricter standards.

You didn't get a dog in law school because you knew you'd be moving, studying, and interviewing all over the country (or not). You didn't get one during bar study or during that brief stint of unemployment that followed.

Now that you have the dream job, it's time for the dream dog. Sure, you're busier than a mosquito at a nudist colony, but if you keep waiting, you'll be thirty-five and too busy with children to care for a pooch.

Is there anyone who thinks that women rule the legal world?

It's certainly not the boys club that it was back in the day when Justices Sandra Day O'Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsburg were graduating from law school and trying to break through the glass ceiling. O'Connor graduated at the top of her class at Stanford Law School and only received legal secretary offers from law firms. Ginsburg had to endure Harvard Law Dean Erwin Griswold asking the women of her class what it felt like to occupy places that could have gone to deserving men. (She later transferred to Columbia, where she graduated at the top of her class.)

Four female Supreme Court Justices later, men still dominate the law, but women rule among part-time practitioners, Reuters reports.

Finally, President's Day Weekend is upon us. Who doesn't get excited about a three-day weekend? A chance to leave the office and move around.

Or — as will be the case for many attorneys — a regular weekend, capped by a work-from-home-in-your-pajamas-on-your-couch-day. Fun!

If even a three-day weekend doesn't give you enough time to go running or swim a few laps at the pool, maybe it's time to consider exercises you can do in your office. Luckily, The Washington Post can help.

If you're one of the lucky, employed lawyers making a good salary, congratulations. Now it's time to spread the wealth.

We're not talking about donations to charities or handouts to the poor. Both are admirable, but this blog is called Greedy Associates. Altruism has a place, just not here.

Or at least, not in this post.

No, we're talking about hiring help to make your life easier. So without further adieu, here are the five tasks you should outsource when you start making money.