Legal Grounds - FindLaw Legal Humor Blog

Legal Grounds - The FindLaw Legal News with an Attitude Blog

We always knew he had a problem with self-control, but we ignored the warning signs. We took his insatiable appetite for a quirky character trait and not the serious addiction that it was. We all laughed while he cried on the inside.

And now his reign of terror on Texas eateries has come to an end. 'Cookie Monster' was arrested last week, charged with a string of cookie and cash robberies.

Can the KKK Adopt a Highway?

November is National Adoption Month. Dating couples are adopting dogs; married couples are adopting children; spinsters are taking in a few dozen more cats; and the Ku Klux Klan is trying to adopt a stretch of highway in north Georgia.

The Klan is excited about adding a one-mile span of Route 515 to its family, and filled out the proper adoption paperwork. But these things take time, and the approval of the Georgia Supreme Court.

Pastafarian Wins Right to Wear Spaghetti Strainer in MA License Photo

While the world is burning over deeply held religious beliefs, one woman in Massachusetts has succeeded in her quest for official respect for her farcical faith, Pastafarianism. Her driver's license photo will reflect the religion's creed by showing her with a spaghetti strainer, according to the Boston Globe.

It sounds absurd, perhaps, but given the international uproar over religious headdress in official identifications in recent years, the spaghetti strainer was an important symbolic win for Lindsay Miller and Pastafarians. The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a parody but not anti-religion, and she says she did have other women of faith in mind when she first sought a license wearing a spaghetti strainer.

We're on record as supporting creative ticket protests. But we really love Lexington, Kentucky's food drive, which allows people to pay part of their parking citations in canned food rather than cash.

And to be clear, the city wants patrons to pay tickets by donating non-perishable food items; and not by smearing raw bacon and sausage all over the police station.

For some folks, it's not enough to drive around with a Confederate battle flag flying from the sunroof of their Mazda and see it flying as part of their state flag and be able to buy it just about anywhere. No, some folks need to know that they can walk into any Walmart in Mississippi and see the state flag for sale, emblazoned with the stars and bars of the Confederacy.

Marshall W. Leonard of Tupelo, Mississippi is one such person. So at 1:30 a.m. on Sunday morning, Marshall rolled his Confederate flag-covered Mazda up to the night entrance of the local Walmart and tossed a bomb inside.

Salem, Massachusetts is famous for its witch trials. And now the world's most famous warlock is subject to an order of protection after being sued in Salem by a witch priestess. Lori Bruno-Sforza owns a witchcraft store in Salem and claims to be descended from a long line of witches. She also claims that Christian Day, who also owns occult stores in Salem and New Orleans and self-describes as "the world's best-known warlock," has been harassing her for the last three years, over the phone and on social media.

On Wednesday, a Salem judge ruled in Sforza's favor, ordering Day not to contact her or come within 100 yards of her home or business for a year.

We hear all the time about young, self-starting, successful entrepreneurs and how much money they make. But there must be a fine line between entrepreneurship and "family run prostitution ring," since a 15-year-old was arresting for pimping hoes out of his mom's living room, all under the direction of his incarcerated 17-year-old brother.

So instead of praise from the local small business association or chamber of commerce, these teenage captains of industry are probably getting (more) jail time.

The War on Christmas. The removal of the Ten Commandments from capitol buildings. The onslaught to our rights of religious freedom is real and it is everywhere. Even from the department of transportation and its insistence on putting bicyclists between us and our god.

That's right -- the Washington D.C. District Department of Transportation is exploring the possibility of protected bike lanes on a busy street. And if we can't park our cars, how can we say our prayers?

Not everyone sees jury duty as the kind of essential civic responsibility that you and I do. Whereas we revel in the chance to serve in our nation's courts and participate in our legal justice system, others see it as an inconvenience, one to be avoided at all costs.

Alisia Carnes could be one of those people. Why else would she disobey a court order forbidding potential jurors from reading about the case? But if she was attempting to disqualify herself from serving on a jury, it didn't quite work -- the judge sentenced her to six more months of jury duty.

Police sting operations have become as complicated as movie heists, with layer upon layer of subterfuge designed to lure master criminals into law enforcement's web.

Take this gambit from police in St. Petersburg, Florida: after a genius car thief left paperwork bearing his name in a car he was accused of stealing, a cunning detective called him to come pick them up. Not suspecting the slick stratagem, the thief stole yet another car and drove it to the police station.

And there the officer's elaborate trap was sprung!