Legal Grounds - FindLaw Legal Humor Blog

Legal Grounds - The FindLaw Legal News with an Attitude Blog


For every villain trying to blame a DUI on his pet squirrel or hastily fake a black ice-laced intersection, there are intoxicated heroes among us, willing to drive themselves drunk right up to the police station in an effort to turn themselves in.

And to these brave souls, Norman Boiselle of Old Mystic, Connecticut, who called the police to report that he was driving drunk and had crashed into a snowbank, we say, "Bravo!" And also, "You're under arrest."

Even the smallest of small businesses have social media policies these days. The platforms are far too public to abide by any gaffes, lest your rep be forever tarnished by the loose fingers of an unpaid intern. So it's no surprise that government agencies have strict Twitter rules that require multiple layers of writing, proofing, editing, and approval before anyone even considers clicking "Tweet."

But, as anyone who's kept an eye on the previous election can attest, that seems like about four or five more thoughts than President-elect Donald Trump gives before firing off his social media missives. So will the Twitterer-in-Chief adhere to some common sense principles when managing his social media presence once he's sworn in? Don't hold your breath.

Whether you'll get pinched for puttering around drunk in a wheelchair may depend on where you're operating and whether the court considers you a pedestrian. In Ohio, for example, you can absolutely get a DUI in a wheelchair. But in Oregon, you might be considered a pedestrian if you slam your motorized wheelchair into the side of a truck while crossing the street, and thus, no DUI.

Such was the case of one James Richard Greene of Lincoln County ...

If the thought of posing for the DMV without your "spiritual antenna" scares you more than walking around in public naked, we have some welcome news out of Millinocket, Maine. Goat horns are now considered religious attire, and, as long as they don't obscure your face, you're free to wear them when you get your driver's license photo snapped.

"Many practicing Pagans are afraid of being public," Phelan Moonsong told the Washington Post, "but when they see my horns it reminds them it's okay to be yourself." Now, anyone who checks his driver's license will get the same reminder.

Santa Claus must be ahead of schedule this holiday season as he helped effect a raid on a drug cartel in Lima, Peru this week. Normally, those on Santa's naughty list either don't get any presents at all, or maybe get a lump of coal. However, this Santa had a different plan.

Video shows an undercover officer dressed as Santa wielding a sledge-hammer to bash in a front door and make several arrests. Apparently, Santa's gift bag held the massive hammer along with his colleagues' guns. As a result of the raid, four men were arrested and 4,500 cocaine wraps were discovered. Peru is known as the world's largest producer of cocaine.

Ah, viral video memes -- is there any end to the fun? Well, maybe when they land you in jail. The latest craze, which was declared over three weeks ago, is the so-called mannequin challenge, where participants freeze in poses while the cameraperson pans the scene, replicating visuals similar to special effects shots from blockbuster action movies.

And this was all well and good until 22 gun-toting men filmed their own version, leading to at least two arrests as cops raided the residence involved and work to identify whether the firearms featured in the three-minute snippet are properly licensed.

This week, a Wyoming woman was arrested after she operated a forklift under the influence of alcohol. Late in the evening in Cheyenne, Wyoming, neighbors contacted local police to report that a woman was moving a large white van with a forklift, while drinking a beer. If the scene sounds like a sort of comedy of errors, the photo of the FUI in action confirms it.

The 49-year-old forklift operator told police that she needed to move the van from one side of her driveway to the other, but she could not find the keys. Since she works at the Wyoming State Forestry Division, she had access to the giant, state-owned, forklift, and since she was well over the legal BAC limit, she probably decided it was an okay idea to use the state owned forklift to move her van.

It's impossible to tell whether the van was damaged, but the picture looks like the van will have a few scars from that wild ride. Fortunately, no people were injured as a result of the lapse in forklift operation protocols.

Practically unknown rapper Montana Millz, who sings the song 'Sell Drugz,' was arrested last week for selling drugs. In what has to be more than simply a coincidence, the rap artist's drug-friendly tune is about how he and his accomplices are now doing financially well because of selling drugs.

Millz, also known as Michael Persaud, was arrested along with an accomplice Tiffany Irizarry, in Lebanon, Pennsylvania after selling heroin to an undercover cop. Persaud had been under investigation for nearly a month when he was arrested and sold approximately 70 bags of heroin to the undercover cop during that time. When the police raided the rapper's motel room, they found over two ounces of heroin.

While there is not actually a professional job as a tenant, James Regan and others like him have earned the moniker due to their ability to abuse eviction laws. Regan, a 62-year-old mustachioed man from Toronto, Canada, has been living in upscale Toronto apartments since 2014 without paying any rent. The Toronto resident is facing his third eviction since 2014 for not paying rent, and despite his best efforts to fire the hearing officer, it looks all but certain that the eviction will be upheld on appeal.

While he has been evicted three times since 2014, that hasn't phased him one bit. He's a professional! While fending off the legal system after each eviction attempt (all part of a day's work), he was able to maintain possession of his units (rent free!). Naturally, Regan claims he's not abusing the system.

Yep. Yeah. Uh-huh. You can totally get fired if you decide it's a good idea to turn up N.W.A.'s "F* Tha Police" as a few officers stroll into your restaurant to eat. It won't help matters to dance, laugh, and sing along when a deputy comes over to ask you about it. And it certainly won't help your case if that same deputy happens to be a regular customer and know the restaurant's owner, while you are just a lowly dishwasher.

So yeah, sorry dude. Good luck with the job hunt after that.