The Bunnies Aren't Rabbits?! Playboy TV Fined for Explicit Content - Legal Grounds
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The Bunnies Aren't Rabbits?! Playboy TV Fined for Explicit Content

UK Media Regulator Blindsided by Explicit Content in "Sexy Girls Next Door"

Playboy Television has been fined by a British media agency for what can only be described as a Trojan-horse style assault on unsuspecting UK living rooms: sneaking sexually explicit and offensive images into programs called "Sexy Girls Next Door", "Sexy Urban Legends", "and "Adult Stars Close-Up." 

According to Reuters, the fine was levied by Ofcom (the UK's answer to the FCC) and amounted to 22,500 pounds -- about $33,000, or what Playboy founder Hugh Hefner likes to call "what I make in the time it takes Miss February to help me put on my diamond-encrusted pajamas."

Despite the fine, Ofcom's phones weren't exactly deluged with those charming UK double-rings. The agency received a mere five complaints about the free-to-air Playboy programs over a 10-month period. Cheeky Brits. But now seems like a good time to step in and offer some ideas for cleaned-up versions of the programs (sorry, "programmes"):

Before: "Sexy Girls Next Door"

After: "Documentary: Growing Up Next Door to Janet Reno"

Before: "Sexy Urban Legends"

After: "A Creepy But Non-Sexual Thing That Totally Happened to Your Sister's Boss's Yoga Instructor's Cousin"

Before: "Adult Stars Close-Up"

After: "Adult Stars in Sensible Pantsuits, Through Low-Powered Binoculars"