Legal Grounds: July 2012 Archives
Legal Grounds - The FindLaw Legal News with an Attitude Blog

July 2012 Archives

Man Paid 3 Slices of Pizza for Helping Rob Domino's Deliveryman

Following a pizza robbery in Memphis, Tennessee, one of the robbers got short-shrift when the goods were split. Tony Hamer and another as-yet unidentified man held up a Dominos pizza guy and told him to hand over his money and the pizza he was delivering.

The man gave up $20, his cell phone, and the pie. Hamer confessed to planning the crime along with his mystery associate and to acting as a lookout during the robbery.

His share of the profits? Three slices of pizza. That's not even half a pie.

Looks like crime didn't pay for Hamer but he could still face the full punishment.

SpongeBob SquarePants Coins Seized by FBI in Peregrine Raid

In SpongeBob we trust? Defrauded investors of Peregrine Financial Group may have no choice but to trust SpongeBob as they now work at recovering the millions they may have lost.

Peregrine's CEO, Russell Wasendorf, confessed to nearly 20 years of fraud while at the helm of the futures brokerage, reports Reuters. His house of cards fell apart this month and his company declared bankruptcy.

Wasendorf was arrested and an investigation of Peregrine's assets revealed a trove of silver SpongeBob SquarePants coins in company vaults. The FBI seized the coins, and investors facing a $200 million shortfall may have no choice but to accept compensation by SpongeBob.

'I Stole the Safe:' Man Confesses to Crimes, Mischief in His Obituary

An obituary is one of the last chances to get any confessions off your chest and Val Patterson took advantage of it.

The 59-year-old Utah man passed away July 10 but he wrote his own obituary last fall. In it he details his love for his wife, his regret that smoking cut his life short, and also comes clean about questionable activities.

He had some important advice for others, such as this gem: "If you want to live forever, then don't stop breathing, like I did."

The first-person account of his life started out serious but Patterson made some surprising revelations about his past.

These are strange times we live in. Slighted politicians, justices, and their supporters are turning to song parodies for solace after a Supreme Court ruling doesn't go their way.

After the "Call Me Maybe" parodies were completely overdone with the likes of President Obama, the Cookie Monster, and even Stars Wars chiming in, now people have turned to Gotye's "Somebody That I Used to Know" to make a point

Not surprisingly, Chief Justice John Roberts has been the target of this parody.

One can only hope that these tired copycats stop with these music parodies. After all, a pretentious rant is a pretentious rant, regardless of the soundtrack you put it to.

How many flags could woodchucks chuck, if woodchucks could chuck flags? The answer: about 75.

The two-year Mystery of the Missing Flags at a veterans cemetery in Hudson, N.Y., is finally solved, and all signs point to an inside (or rather, underground) job: The cemetery's own flag-stealing groundhogs were the culprits, and their unpatriotic crimes were caught on camera, the local Register Star reports.

Video proof of the critters' capers comes as a relief to some locals who'd suspected possibly racist motives behind the flag-stealing incidents.

Move over, Twinkie defense. A bus driver convicted of groping women and girls claims it wasn't sugar, but too much caffeinated coffee that turned him from groggy to overly grabby.

Kenneth Sands, 51, a school bus driver from Rainier, Wash., was convicted of groping three girls and two women at a high-school volleyball game in October, Seattle's KOMO-TV reports. His convictions come with jail time.

But at Sands' sentencing Tuesday, he stirred up resentment when he came forth with his coffee defense.