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Poor Bilbo Baggins. All he wanted was to be a good host when suddenly the hero of "The Hobbit" found himself bound to a long and complicated contract.

Firstly, the movie version of Bilbo got a much worse deal than the one in the book. The contract on the screen in Peter Jackson's newest film looks much longer than the one described in J.R.R. Tolkien's original novel.

But whether it's long or short, the real question for legal enthusiasts is: Is the contract binding? Well, if Bilbo had a lawyer he might never have had to take the risk of going out the door.

Rapper Ryan Leslie offered a $1 million reward when his laptop was stolen in Germany in 2010. But when it was returned, he tried to take back his promise.

Now, he's going to have to pay up, the New York Post reports.

Armin Augstein, a German car mechanic, found the laptop while walking his dog and gave it to German police, who returned it to Leslie in November 2010. It was the right thing to do, but Augstein was also excited about the reward Leslie had promised in a YouTube video asking for the laptop's return.

But it turns out Leslie was all talk. He accused Augstein of taking part in the laptop's theft since he "conveniently" found it. While this raises the question of whether Leslie ever planned to pay anyone for the laptop's return, a New York court has ruled that he no longer has a choice in the matter.

Residents of Dallas, Texas, are about to be graced with yet another disaster-piece created by Daniel Edwards, the artist who saw fit to sculpt a nude Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug.

This time, he's created a nude Justin Bieber statue, placing the teen heartthrob next to his also very-nude girlfriend, Selena Gomez.

Though the Biebs' underage nether-regions are covered by a very patriotic maple leaf, this statue may very well be child porn.

The last person one would ever expect to accuse an item of being distasteful and "nausea-inducing" is Lady Gaga. 

After all, she wears meat dresses and performs drenched in (hopefully) fake blood. But when it comes to someone cashing in on her provocative image, she's in it for the kill.

The Naked Cowboy is intent on protecting his brand. That's if you can call parading around Times Square in your underoos and cowboy gear a brand. This blogger prefers to call it a stripper fantasy gone awry. But that's beside the point, because the news feeds on the square are proclaiming that the "Naked Cowboy sues CBS."

So what's behind his newest lawsuit? For those who don't follow the litigious habits of the Naked Cowboy, he apparently trademarked his act at some point in the last decade. Fastidious in his protection of his brand, he seeks out infringers who dare to pay him homage. And this time he has his sight set on one of CBS' remaining daytime soap operas, The Bold and the Beautiful.

Naked Cowboy, Legal Grounds has missed you. The trademark dispute between you and Naked Cowgirl was a watershed and you have been pretty quiet since then. True, there was that report of your potential run for president, but since you had to put a shirt on for that event, we didn't count it. Now we are back in the full glory of Naked legal incidents. This time, it was a ticket for being shirtless.

It seems that the Naked Cowboy should stick to Manhattan (Times Square is his area of choice) because every time he ventures outside of NYC, something happens. This time, the Naked One, also known to law enforcement as Robert Burck, was hired to play at an oyster festival in Port Jefferson, New York, according to the TodayShow.com. Despite the many fans who were taking pictures with the E-list celebrity, complaints were made to town officials about the Cowboy being shirtless (and pantsless) in public.

When last we left this story of the naked city, the Naked Cowboy had sent the Naked Cowgirl a cease and desist letter claiming her naked actions were tarnishing his brand. Now, the sequel. On Wednesday, July 21, the Cowboy filed suit in New York federal court against said Cowgirl claiming she is "devaluing a real American brand and Icon." Yup, an icon, right up there with Roy Rogers. And his horse Trigger, or at least the back part of it. 

The New York Daily News reports that Robert Burck's (Naked's real name) attorney says the Cowgirl is confusing tourists and destroying the brand. The crux of the Cowboy's argument is that his trademark covered brand (since 2000) is about good clean fun. The Cowgirl is sullying his good TM with her raunchier approach to naked singing.

"Tell Me Where the New Summer Line Is. TELL ME WHERE THE NEW SUMMER LINE IS!"

The following took place between 2 a.m. and whenever he sobered up: Kiefer Sutherland, who portrays tough guy Jack Bauer on the hit Fox drama "24", allegedly headbutted fashion designer Jack McCollough outside a New York City nightclub earlier this week.

Sutherland originally claimed that he was coming to the aid of actress Brooke Shields, who McCollough had bumped into, or so Sutherland said. But that story became a little far-fetched, even by "24" plotline standards, after a representative for Shields denied that McCollough had done anything inappropriate, MSNBC reports.

According to MSNBC, McCollough told authorities that Sutherland "was drunk and obnoxious and wouldn't back down or be logical." Oh man, someone's practically begging to end up back at CTU with jumper cables duct-taped to his nipples.

Incident Raises Cable News Hyperbole Threat Level to Orange

We've all been there. One little awkward pause in a conversation and suddenly you're talking about how you wouldn't mind being waterboarded. But when Sean Hannity made that claim on his Fox News show last week, MSNBC host Keith Olbermann jumped on it like, well, like Keith Olbermann jumping on a claim made on a Fox News show.

The issue came up last week when Charles Grodin was a guest on Fox's "Hannity" program, discussing interrogation of suspected terrorists and the controversy over the waterboarding technique. According to the Associated Press, Grodin asked Hannity whether he would allow himself to be waterboarded. Hannity responded "Sure," and said he'd do it "for the troops' families." Right, because watching a television host giggling in a bath tub on a Manhattan soundstage should make up for the whole overseas combat duty thing.

Try to Spell 'Justice' Without a 'T', Fool!

When it comes to celebrities and the brushes with government that all citizens face, there are some things that are hard to picture, like Prince standing in line at the DMV. But the city of Chicago was robbed of a civic duty match made in heaven on Monday, when Mr. T reported for jury duty, only to be passed over by the judge.

Mr. T showed up in the halls of Chicago's Cook County Criminal Court in camouflage pants, sounding like a public service announcement you might have heard during a prime-time commercial break in 1985, telling gatherers: "It's not about 'The A-Team', it's the J-Team -- the jury team," according to the Chicago Sun-Times.