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Is Your Uber Driver Sober?

Probably not the question you want to ask yourself as your rideshare rolls up, but after California's Consumer Protection and Enforcement Division (CPED) fined Uber $1.13 million for failing to investigate reports of inebriated drivers, you might want to double check your driver's breath.

A CPED investigation found that Uber's California operation received 2,047 complaints about drivers being under the influence in just one year between August 12, 2014 and August 31, 2015, and only deactivated drivers in 574 of those complaints, or less than one-third of all allegedly drunken drivers.

In what is being heralded as major win for those that want to eat healthier, but not too much healthier, nearly two dozen Dunkin' Donuts locations in Massachusetts will stop giving customers margarine, or butter substitute, when those customers order buttered bagels. Unfortunately, it took a lawsuit filed by one disappointed Dunkies devotee to get the chain to stop churning out bagels with fake butter.

While many might be surprised to learn that Dunkin' Donuts even sells bagels (we've all seen them, but never knew anyone actually bought 'em), those customers that ordered their bagels buttered have been tricked. Although the donut dealers have real butter, it is refrigerated and not left at the comfortable spreadable room temperature that true butter aficionados prefer, for food safety reasons. When customers order a buttered bagel, employees have been spreading margarine, or vegetable spread, on the bagels instead, all because those spread easier than chilled butter.

The entire point of a Snuggie -- beyond being the signature garment of our cultural descent into the moral abyss between the couch cushions -- is that it is both a blanket and clothes. Instead of peeking your arms into the real world, wearing long sleeves indoors, or even just putting your bath robe on backwards, you can purchase an ambiguous fleece amalgamation in designs sure to put your sloth on display, like the world's worst invisibility cloak.

But no longer will the greatest minds of our generation struggle with the Snuggie's internal conflict, now that the United States Court of International Trade has had its say. Snuggies are officially blankets, and we're officially getting back under one to binge away the pain.

"My client was the victim of a bug in an application. The bug has caused him problems in his private life." While probably true, these are most likely not the words that are going to save your marriage. Also generally not a winning legal argument, but you can always try.

Those are the words of one man's lawyer, after his client's wife kept getting Uber alerts on her phone about his whereabouts. Apparently she was less than pleased with those whereabouts, and the two have divorced. Now he's suing Uber for almost $50 million over the glitch.

Tokyo’s The Amrita, a nude pop-up restaurant, doesn’t even open its doors until next month, and it’s already causing quite a controversy. No, not because it purports to offer diners a “naked” eating experience. It’s because the restaurant will supposedly ban old, overweight, and inked-up patrons.

A similar prohibition in the U.S. might invite a few discrimination lawsuits. But those could be the least of a nude restaurant’s worries. Here are a few other legal concerns for naked dining establishments:

Just as the Ivy League only exists to churn out investment bank employees and yacht consumers, and the Southeastern Conference is really just a de facto minor league for the NFL, Washington D.C.'s budding marijuana industry is getting into the education business. Less than a year after legalizing recreational marijuana, the District's first smoking school has opened its doors.

The D.C. School of Mary Jane will guide greenhorns to the sticky green in the ways of legal weed, from the drug's history to its health benefits.

We're on record as supporting creative ticket protests. But we really love Lexington, Kentucky's food drive, which allows people to pay part of their parking citations in canned food rather than cash.

And to be clear, the city wants patrons to pay tickets by donating non-perishable food items; and not by smearing raw bacon and sausage all over the police station.

If you're one of those unfortunate souls who don't have the pocket room for their fake gun and an iPhone case and can't choose between the two, or if you're worried your chances of being shot by police for carrying a replica pistol are too low, have we got a product for you.

Behold the gun-shaped iPhone case, designed to antagonize real gun holders and ... well, we're not sure why else you'd want one of these. But for now they're on sale for all your want-to-feel-like-you-have-a-gun-but-actually-don't needs.

It's all fun and games until a kid gets a Coke with his Happy Meal. Or at least that's what anti-fun town Davis, California thinks.*

The Davis City Council rained on every child's fast food parade by outlawing soda as the default drink of choice for kids' meals. Instead, restaurants must offer children milk (blegh!) or water (double-blegh!) unless their parents, who we hope are more awesome than the city council, ask for soda specifically.

A New York City hot dog vendor who thought he was being slick by hiking the prices up on tourists is now out of a job and facing criminal charges.

Ahmed Mohammed was supposed to be charging $3.99 price for two hot dogs and a soda, according to his boss Abdelalim Abdelbaky. But a New Jersey resident accused Mohammed of charging him $30 for a hot dog and drink, and WNBC caught him on video charging a buyer with a French accent $15 for a hot dog and pretzel.