"Lock the Door. It's Domino's."

Two Domino's Pizza employees in their formative early-30's have been fired and now face criminal charges after they filmed some gross goings-on in the restaurant kitchen, and then posted the video on a little mom-and-pop operation known as "YouTube.com."

The video shows one of the workers, Michael Setzer, putting cheese up his nose and waving salami slices near his rear end while making a sandwich at a Domino's in Conover, N.C. The other Domino's employee, Kristy Hammonds, filmed the action and can be heard providing descriptive commentary for anyone having difficulty with the intricate twists and turns of the plot.

The Truth Is Out There: You Two are Morons

Two New Jersey men were assessed fines and ordered to community service this week for trying to prank Morris County and Hanover residents into believing that UFOs were in the area.

Chris Russo, 29, of Morris Plains, and Joe Rudy, 28, of Chester were sentenced for staging a not-so-elaborate hoax in which they tied road flares to helium balloons and set them aloft in a local field. The two ended up calling a local television station themselves to report the "sighting," which is a little like responding to your own online dating profile just so you can say someone did.