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This week, a Wyoming woman was arrested after she operated a forklift under the influence of alcohol. Late in the evening in Cheyenne, Wyoming, neighbors contacted local police to report that a woman was moving a large white van with a forklift, while drinking a beer. If the scene sounds like a sort of comedy of errors, the photo of the FUI in action confirms it.

The 49-year-old forklift operator told police that she needed to move the van from one side of her driveway to the other, but she could not find the keys. Since she works at the Wyoming State Forestry Division, she had access to the giant, state-owned, forklift, and since she was well over the legal BAC limit, she probably decided it was an okay idea to use the state owned forklift to move her van.

It's impossible to tell whether the van was damaged, but the picture looks like the van will have a few scars from that wild ride. Fortunately, no people were injured as a result of the lapse in forklift operation protocols.

Practically unknown rapper Montana Millz, who sings the song 'Sell Drugz,' was arrested last week for selling drugs. In what has to be more than simply a coincidence, the rap artist's drug-friendly tune is about how he and his accomplices are now doing financially well because of selling drugs.

Millz, also known as Michael Persaud, was arrested along with an accomplice Tiffany Irizarry, in Lebanon, Pennsylvania after selling heroin to an undercover cop. Persaud had been under investigation for nearly a month when he was arrested and sold approximately 70 bags of heroin to the undercover cop during that time. When the police raided the rapper's motel room, they found over two ounces of heroin.

To what lengths must a man go to be banned from ordering pizza? What must he do to never get delivery again? How bad must he be for a judge to write: "Defendant shall refrain from calling any pizza establishment... or his bond shall be revoked?"

Randy Riddle, resident of Sebastian, Florida, plumbed those depths recently, and now must live a pie-less life, devoid of anchovies, all the meat a meat-lover would love, and cheese-injected crusts; a life so empty, only a two-foot-long Big Flavor Dipper could fill it. Riddle me this, Mr. Riddle: what did you do to deserve such a fate?

Some TV shows will bill episodes as pulled straight from the headlines. But one Kentucky man reversed that popular trope when he tried to haul over 10,000 bottles and cans through three states just to get the recycling deposit. Eagle-eyed Seinfeld fans might remember that little gambit -- Kramer and Newman tried the same scam in the show's seventh season.

And if those guys can't pull it off, what hope do the rest of us have?

Another adventure in the ongoing saga of legalized marijuana: today’s episode comes straight from Happy — too happy? — Valley, Oregon, where 18-year-old Alan Alcantara, who could not look any more stoned in his mugshot, drove himself and a friend to the Stumptown Cannabis dispensary at 1:05 a.m. Sunday morning. Sorry, no, he drove himself and a friend into the Stumptown Cannabis dispensary at 1:05 a.m. Sunday morning.

The most shocking part of Alcantara’s tale? He might’ve been high.

Blind Man Caught Driving Sees Footage at Disability Hearing

Have you ever wished you could get paid to do nothing? One man figured out a way, but now he is paying, sentenced to five years in prison for fraud after pretending to be blind to obtain $1.3 million in disability benefits. The man was blinded in one eye in a workplace incident in 2006, reports ABC News, but it turned out his vision was not totally impaired after all.

At a disability hearing, John Caltabiano, who claimed not to see, was shown footage taken by investigators revealing he could drive, read, and politely hold open doors. Good thing he has his vision because he'll have a lot of reading time in prison.

Cops to Drug Dealer's Contacts: Don't Call Us, We'll Call You

If you're waiting on your man in Ohio, you will be waiting a while, and the more often you call to insist on your needs, the more likely it is you will get in trouble with the police. The City of Alliance, Ohio Police Department this week urged the clients of an alleged local drug dealer arrested for selling crystal meth on video to stop contacting the guy, reports UPI, at least while they conduct their investigation of his cell phone.

The Alliance Police posted their request on Facebook, revealing that the dealer had granted them permission to look at his phone. They also showed that cops can have a sense of humor ... and understand social media.

Certain TV shows are known for ripping their plotlines straight from the headlines. And sometimes it goes the other way around. In a story reminiscent of AMC's "Breaking Bad," an Indiana pastor plead guilty to producing almost 100 tons of synthetic marijuana, and using his church as a multimillion-dollar drug trafficking operation.

And that's before you get to the crooked married cop couple, the former traveling clown running for state legislature, and the connections to the imprisoned former head of Jared Fogle's foundation.

Xanax Delivered to School in a Doughnut Prompts Arrests

Recently, a young man dropped off lunch for a high-school senior, leaving a bag with a doughnut in the main office. This unusual dedication to dining seemed strange to Bordentown Regional High School authorities, who searched the dessert and called the cops.

Indeed, inside a small plastic bag stuffed in the doughnut were 6 Xanax pills, reports UPI. Xanax, known by the generic name of alprazolam, is medicine, legitimately prescribed to people with anxiety and panic disorders. But as you can see, it is also used illegally and recreationally.

Stolen Taco Truck Hits School Bus in California Getaway

Crime does not pay, especially when you steal a taco truck and hit a school bus during your getaway. Then you just end up in a shooting. Specifically, you end up shot at by police and the saga ends with you in the hospital.

This is the true story of Sean Fowler, 20, and Daiquon Horne, 22, who stole a taco truck in San Bernardino on Monday morning, according to the city's local paper, The Sun. Although neither was struck by police bullets, the young men are reportedly in the hospital and will no doubt be charged criminally for their failed escapade.