Legally Weird: April 2011 Archives
Legally Weird - The FindLaw Legal Curiosities Blog

April 2011 Archives

Purse-Snatching Raccoon: Masked Thief Stealing From Lady Golfers

The elderly patrons of Sandridge Golf Club in Vero Beach, Florida were abuzz recently when a thief appeared on the course, stealing purses and wallets from right under their noses (and their golf carts).

In a strange twist, it turns out that they needn't be sorry worried. The culprit is none other than a purse-snatching raccoon.

Man Ejaculated Twice into Female Co-Worker's Water Bottle

Michael Kevin Lallana is a sick, sick man.

Convicted of two misdemeanor counts of battery for ejaculating into his co-worker's water bottle (twice!), an Orange County judge Friday sentenced him to 180 days in jail, three years probation, and ordered him to register as a sex offender.

Apparently he just wanted to feel close to his co-worker.

RI Man's 1974 Traffic Ticket Dismissed 37 Years Later

Stupid things that you do in your youth can, in fact, come back to haunt you.

Thirty-seven years and $100 later, Michael J. Young finally has a clean criminal record.

There had been a warrant out for his arrest since he was 23 and he didn't even know about it.

Gang Member Tattoos Murder Scene on Chest, Gets Convicted

In large cities across the country, prior to release, police officers photograph tattoos on the bodies of suspected gang members.

These identifying marks have helped solve dozens of crimes over the years, but no one has ever seen a case like this.

Anthony Garcia, a member of Los Angeles' Pico Rivera gang, tattooed his confession on his chest.

Man Had 70+ Exotic Snakes, Fed Them Pets Adopted Off Craigslist

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There's no question that Craigslist is cluttered with strange things and strange people, but this story may just take the cake.

Texas animal authorities are currently in the process of re-housing and identifying nearly 80 snakes--mostly Boas and Albino Burmese Pythons--all located at one East Texas house.

Their owner, David Beauchemin, apparently fed the snakes pets he "adopted" off of Craigslist.

Blood Type Perfume Debuts for Vampires, True Blood Fans

There's a new perfume on the block and it's supposed to conjure up images of blood.

Blood Concept, also known as blood type perfume, will hit the market in September, with each of the four metallic, earthy scents representing a unique blood type.

The reason I tell you this is not because the scents contain actual human blood (that's illegal), but because it points to a larger legal question:

Are vampires the new pirates and ninjas?

Mailman Caught Defecating in Yard on Postal Route

If there was ever a time to be thankful for nosy neighbors, it's when your neighborhood postman decides to defecate on your front yard.

Yep, you read that right.

Don Derfler of Portland, Oregon photographed his mail carrier dropping trou on his neighbor's lawn last week, and no one knows just why the pooping mailman did it.

Sears Sues RockHard Over DieHard Sex Spray

Die Hard. Live it. Love it. Or Numb It.

Sears, on the other hand, just wants to get rid of it--it being DieHard "sexual enhancement" spray, a desensitizing product that shares its unfortunate name with the retailer's line of DieHard car batteries.

Of Course there's now a trademark lawsuit.

US Supreme Court Justice Breyer, 72, is on Twitter, Facebook

No one can resist social media. The urge to tweet and post on someone's Wall reaches to the highest levels of our nation, as Justice Stephen Breyer is taking advantage of Twitter and Facebook.

What would you expect a Supreme Court Justice to tweet about?

"Can't believe Scalia isn't going to fight that fender bender ticket in traffic court!

Or maybe "What has Clarence Thomas' wife been up to lately? Haven't heard much about her in a while."

Doctor's Weight Loss Advice: Have Sex with Me, Vibrating Massages

A weight-loss doctor is facing sexual assault charges after touching patients inappropriately during 'fat-burning' massages.

Arie Oren, who labeled his sexual advances as an "extra-special treat" for shedding pounds, was arrested Monday in Montgomery County, Pa. on indecent-assault charges. Investigators believe he told at least one that sex with him would help her lose weight and another she could burn 200 calories by having an orgasm.

Man Uses Sword, Guitar in Pulp Fiction-Like Tattoo Shop Attack

The last pain anyone would expect to experience in a tattoo shop is from cuts and bruises caused by a sword attack.

But in one Orlando, Florida tattoo parlor, that's exactly what happened when homeless convict Jason Lynn Gay attacked the shop owner and his client.

There were also a guitar and glass table involved.

Man in Swimming Goggles Robs Bank to Pay Court Fine

In a move that could have only been inspired by watching The Little Mermaid one too many times, a man has confessed to robbing a bank while dressed in swimming goggles and a bright pink scarf.

He was also toting a tuna can designed to look like a bomb.

Ohio Man Charged with Barking at Police K9

If you're not exactly sure what would possess a man to bark at a police dog, Ryan Stephens has an answer for you:

The dog started it.

Unfortunately for Mr. Stephens, that answer wasn't good enough. He was cited for a misdemeanor after barking at Timber the police dog.

Drunk, Naked Judge, Wrapped in Bed Sheet, Arrested in Hotel

Judges often look quite serious, wearing dark robes and wielding justice. But they don't always dispense justice. Sometimes the roles are reversed.

Like when a drunken Pennsylvania judge, sans robe and gavel, was found naked and wrapped in a bed sheet in a Cumberland County hotel.

Douglas Gummo, a magistrate judge in Huntingdon County, has charged with harassment, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness, WJAC-TV reports.

Pencil Prank Assault: Boy, 12, Impales Student in Buttocks

The pencil prank--where a child puts a pencil on another's seat so that it pokes him when he sits down--is a mainstay on comedic television geared towards children.

Having a little fun, a 12-year-old boy at Sailorway Middle School in Ohio decided to take on the well-known prank. But, unlike television, someone actually got hurt.

The pencil impaled his classmate in the buttocks.

Man Bites Boy, 3, in 'True Blood' Vampire Attack

There's an epidemic in this country. It involves vampires.

The common sight of teenage girls and their boyfriends acting out Edward Cullen fantasies has spread to 43-year-old men who actively take on the role of Bill Compton from HBO's True Blood.

Even worse? Instead of screaming for Sookie and jealously hating on hotter vampires, they're biting 3-year-old boys on the neck.

Beer Company Sues: Missing Nude Photo Could Jack up Alehouse Rent

A $51,000 photo of a naked woman is not unheard of.

A $51,000 naked photo that hung on the wall of Rogue Ales' Newport Ale House for nearly 25 years? That's a bit of a stretch.

But Oregon Brewing Company, parent company of Rogue Ales, is suing Frame Central for just that. The framing company lost its racy photo, and the beer brewers want it back, or its rent will go up by a lot.

Fake Massage Parlor Inspector Demands Happy Ending

What do $200 and a fake massage parlor inspector have to do with one another?

Everything.

In a story that brings new meaning to the term "rub down," Edward Justin LaPorte, posing as a fake inspector, not only requested a happy ending, but demanded $200 for his time.