Here's a life lesson that all you board game enthusiasts should take to heart: don't cheat at Monopoly. Your actions can come back and stab you. Literally.
Laura Chavez, 60, of New Mexico is learning this exact lesson in court.
She's accused of stabbing her boyfriend, Clyde Smith, after a friendly game of Monopoly turned violent.
The family game originally included Chavez, Smith and Chavez's 10-year-old grandson.
You'd think things couldn't get worse for penis pump judge Donald Thompson. But you'd be wrong.
When he couldn't get it up, he took to pumpin' it on the bench. And when he couldn't keep it covered, he got busted and sent to jail.
And now? The Oklahoma Supreme Court has stripped him of his pension.
Indeed, he now has no money and no dignity.
Colorado man Keith Gaylor planned to cheat on his longtime girlfriend. She was supposed to be out of the house for a while, so he called up a woman he met on Craigslist and invited her over.
But when his girlfriend came home early, Gaylor panicked. He allegedly called 911 on his Craigslist date after the woman knocked on his door.
Police think he was trying to convince his girlfriend that the other woman was an intruder.
Well, he also managed to convince the police officers. Since he confusingly told police that the intruder had a gun, the department dispatched five officers to his home.
Dog poop has no place in a courtroom. That is, unless your name is Kimberly Zakrzewski, the defendant in Fairfax, Virginia's pooper scooper trial.
Zakrzewski was cited under the county's pooper scooper law in April. Neighbors and longtime nemeses Virginia and Christine Cornell accused her of not picking up after Baxter, a 19-pound Westie-bichon frise mix.
They even photographed the alleged evidence.
A Georgia man was so upset about how little meat was stuffed into his XXL Chalupas that he tried to set the Taco Bell on fire.
Right now, you might be wondering what an "XXL Chalupa" is. And perhaps how a little fast food item can drive a man to try to set a store ablaze.
A description of the Chalupa on the Taco Bell website is sure to make any beef taco lover's mouth start to water. It's described as containing: a double portion of premium seasoned beef, crisp lettuce, nacho cheese sauce, a three-cheese blend, fiesta salsa, crunchy red strips and some sour cream. All wrapped up in an oversized Chalupa shell. Oh, and it's available in "chicken" as well.
So what about this particular XXL Chalupa got this man so enraged?
Pennsylvanian woman Amanda Confer and her beau, a pre-release prison inmate named Randell Peterson, had an illicit encounter: they had sex on a city bus.
In broad daylight.
Oh, and Confer was with her baby at the time.
Edward Neely of Jefferson, Mo. has his baby back. Or at least his stolen 1969 Camaro.
Nicknamed "Chelsey Pearl," Neely purchased the car when he was 18. In 1995, the car was stolen, and hadn't been seen since. That is, until he spotted it in an online ad.
Armed with a report from the Syracuse police, Neely hightailed it out to Utah last week, where the car was located. It's since been returned to its rightful home in Missouri.
Note to all heroin producers out there: don't anger your neighbors. Otherwise, you might find yourself the target of a mass-produced and widely distributed "Heroin for Sale" flier with your name and home address on it.
At least that's the lesson that several Portland drug dealers learned after their recent bust.
Apparently, neighbors were so tired of the house's drug activity that one cobbled together the makeshift flier. The flier was even handed off to the police.
The flier was simple, all it did was advertise heroin. It also contained the address of the drug house in question. This, combined with the neighbor's complaint, eventually led police officers to search the home.
When Nevada groom Justin Harris woke up on his wedding day, he had no idea that he would be facing charges for throwing his mom out of the church.
Harris had invited his mother to the ceremony at Carson Valley United Methodist Church in Gardnerville, Nev. But he says that she arrived yelling and screaming, and was in complete objection to the pending nuptials.
He then picked her up and removed her from the building. His mom now claims that he attacked her the minute she entered the sanctuary. She called 911.
About 160 Jay Elementary students received a surprise "gift" from Florida administrators this week: X-rated slap-bracelets.
The bracelets were given to the students for their fundraising efforts.
The offending items are made out of recycled metal tape measures that are then covered with a colorful cloth. They are meant to be "slapped" onto a student's wrist. Unfortunately, one student became a little curious and removed the cloth covering.
What she found was rather racy.
All states have official birds and flowers. But if we were to designate an official state crime for Lone Star State, it would undoubtedly be the Frozen Armadillo Assault.
A 57-year-old Dallas woman fell victim to such a crime late last month, according to new information released by police. She and her assailant met in a parking lot to negotiate a price for a frozen armadillo.
Their haggling turned dangerous, and the man threw the dead animal at the woman.
Twice.
A North Carolina convenience store clerk foiled a Spider-Man robbery this week using a cleaning tool that most Americans have at home: a broom. The man in the costume, Dale Foughty, is now facing charges for his alleged crime.
The event unfolded as follows: a man dressed in a Spider-Man costume, later identified to be 56-year-old Foughty, entered into a store. The masked thief demanded money.
Foughty pulled out a sword, and the clerk pulled out a broom. When you have a sword versus a broom, you typically might think the weapon with the sharp edge will win.
It turns out, it didn't.
A Staten Island ice cream man who sold drugs out of his truck has been sentenced to 3 1/2 years in prison.
Louis Scala was accused of running a $1 million drug-trafficking ring out of his Lickety Split truck. Between 2009 and 2010, he acquired and sold approximately 43,000 oxycodone pills.
His sentence is the result of a deal, which found him pleading guilty to second-degree conspiracy and third-degree criminal possession of a controlled substance.
Washington woman Jennifer Thomas is facing one of the most harrowing experiences a pet owner can go through: her dog is being held as ransom.
Thomas said she saw two strangers, a man and a woman, in her driveway. She then noticed that her beloved English bulldog, Jaggar, was missing. This was more than 10 days ago.
After Jaggar went missing, Thomas started receiving text messages asking for a $1,000 ransom in exchange for the bulldog. The messages also demanded she hand over her prescription painkillers. Thomas is wheelchair-bound after an accident.
Medieval enthusiast Fremon Seay and his wife Julie were arrested on Sunday after forcing their 16-year-old daughter into a duel.
The Yelm, Wash. couple reportedly felt that an early morning fight was the solution to the girl's disobedience. Fremon allegedly told the unnamed teen to "put on your armor," and then attacked her with a wooden sword.
Her armor--makeshift padding and a helmet--did nothing to prevent bruises all over her body.
Michigan's "Petoskey Batman" days as the Dark Knight are over. Well, at least for six months: Batman's on probation. As it turns out, he's far from immune to the law.
This masked vigilante, legal name Mark Wayne Williams, was arrested in May for trespassing and carrying dangerous weapons. He was found hanging off the side of a building.
He pled guilty last month to a count of resisting and obstructing an officer. He was sentenced this Monday to six months of probation. Part of his probation terms? He can't don his Batman costume.
Tragic, considering that Halloween is just around the corner.
Hell hath no fury like.. a woman with a power tool? It seems a Washington woman was arrested for trying to cut her husband's head off with a power saw.
The husband was sleeping at the time and woke up in the darkened room to the sounds of the power tool. A frightening scenario, considering a chainsaw to the neck isn't the most gentle of wake-up calls.
It was only after he flipped on the lights that he saw it was his wife with the saw, the New York Daily News reports.
Imagine if you were in his night slippers for a second. What would you do? Jerking your head seems to be an unwise decision. Sure, it's instinctual, but think about how close the saw must have been to his neck.
Two Pennsylvania brothers stole a bridge and tried to sell its 15.5 tons of parts as scrap metal. To make matters more interesting, the bridge they tore down and sold is none other than the haunted Covert's Crossing Bridge.
The story behind the bridge is that it's haunted by a 1940s prom queen who died when her car drove off the side of the bridge. Some say you can see a vision of a girl in a prom dress dancing on the eerie crossing.
If the bridge truly is haunted, do you think the brothers are in for some ghostly retribution?
Even if they aren't, they might be in for some legal retribution.
Chicago Police were dispatched to the home of Dawn and Arturo Montesdeoca on Saturday after receiving a call about a cupcake attack.
Mr. Montesdeoca was reportedly covered in frosting and crumbs when police arrived. He accused his wife of escalating a verbal disagreement into a full-blown food fight.
She has since been charged with domestic battery. There is no word as to whether she will be punished for ruining such delicious treats.
Andy Golub has a thing for public nudity.
The artist is known for painting, well, nude women. This seems fine until you take into consideration when and where Golub chooses to work his artistic magic: the middle of Times Square in broad daylight.
Is this distracting? Distasteful? Is it public indecency?
It was a little over the line, at least according to a New York judge. The artist was charged with misdemeanor public lewdness after he painted two of his models in Times Square.
Golub has been ordered to keep G-strings on his models until after dusk. Bras, however, can come off in daylight.
Is skydiving sex legal?
Believe it or not, some high school students' porn viewing has thrust issue onto the desks of Federal Aviation Administration officials.
Local police in Taft, Calif. were called to the high school last week after an interesting video made its way onto campus.
The video depicts porn star Alex Torres and friend Hope Howell taking off--and getting off--for a little in-the-air action. Call it the new Mile High Club.
The Fort Lauderdale area is aflutter with news that Phillip Winikoff has reached a deal with local prosecutors.
The 81-year-old man allegedly posed as a doctor and offered door-to-door breast exams at a local apartment complex. Two women accepted his offer, but eventually realized something was amiss.
It was ultimately Winikoff's wandering hands that destroyed the ruse.
Diane Tucker had a husband. Scratch that - Diane Tucker had two husbands. At the same time. You know what that's called in her home state of Georgia? Bigamy.
Bigamy is illegal in all states. Individuals can only be legally married to one person at a time.
Tucker, 48, violated this law.
Authorities say she was married to Edwin Windelberg in 2004. In 2007, she married another man, Cesar Alexandro Saldivar. She didn't divorce her first husband until 2008.
Four suspects in an Amish beard-cutting attack were arrested in Ohio this week. The four men are from the small community of Bergholz.
Authorities say the attacks were perpetrated by a rival Amish group. The victims were held down against their will and given unwanted cuts to their beard and to their hair.
Why is beard-cutting a crime in the first place?
Mark Burgen was on trial for armed robbery. And apparently he decided to use his court-mandated lunch break to steal jewelry during his own hearing.
Burgen stole about $30,000 of jewelry including diamond bracelets from Walton's Antique Jewelry store in Franklin, Tennessee during the court's recess.
In fact, a store employee initially caught Burgen red-handed with a Rolex. Burgen handed over the stolen watch and apologized before dashing off with the rest of the stolen goods.
If the allegations are true, Texas resident Benito Apolinar has some serious Facebook rage.
Police in Carlsbad, N.M. arrested Apolinar last week after he allegedly punched his estranged wife in the face. He was in New Mexico to drop off the pair's children, but returned to his wife's home while intoxicated.
A fight then ensued, and Apolinar berated his wife for not "liking" his Facebook status. He had posted about the anniversary of his mother's death.
Minnesota babysitter Amanda Rose Owens, 18, has a porn addiction. And it led her to burglary.
Owens is accused of crawling through her neighbor's doggie door and stealing items to fuel her love of porn.
The burglarized neighbor set up a camera inside his house when he started to notice items were missing. He hoped to catch the culprit red-handed, and he succeeded.
Video footage of the burglary showed Owens squeezing through the doggie door, rummaging through belongings and downing a Red Bull energy drink from the fridge.
In another story of psychic powers gone wrong, Jackeline Lopez of Palmdale, Calif. is accused of concocting an evil curse for even eviler purposes.
Police believe she encouraged a 12-year-old girl to steal $10,000 worth of jewelry from her parents. The jewelry was supposed to help remove the faux curse, but instead ended up in local pawn shops.
That, of course, was after the victim placed it in a cauldron and Lopez would perform a made-up ritual.
Florida State Representative Ritch Workman has a plan to increase jobs. Repeal the ban on dwarf tossing.
Yes, you read that correctly. Dwarf tossing.
Workman has proposed to bring back the controversial practice. He says that the ban deprives willing dwarfs of jobs.
Never heard of "dwarf tossing"? It might be because it's been prohibited for a very long time. Florida outlawed the practice in 1989. Bars found to be violating the ban can be fined up to $1,000 and can lose their liquor license.
iPhone thieves better watch out. iGotYa app is on the market, and it's helping theft victims catch those who dare to leave their hands empty.
A 31-year-old Queens woman is the latest to benefit from iGotYa technology. After a man swiped her iPhone Monday evening, she received an email from the app's servers. It contained a photo of the suspect and his exact coordinates.
His face is now plastered all over the Internet.
A Call of Duty attack doesn't seem like such an odd thing. But when it involves a grown man, a 13-year-old child, and an internet network, it becomes a bit more suspect.
Mark Bradford, 46, pleaded guilty to such an assault this week in front of magistrates in Plymouth, England. He was accused of choking a teenage neighbor after a rousing game of Call of Duty: Black Ops.
The kid shot his character, and the father of three retaliated.
Alex Finnegan is currently learning why it's not a good idea to jokingly make threats.
After being denied multiple song requests by Bridgewater State University's campus radio station (WBIM), he allegedly threatened to "bring a gun and shoot up the station."
Campus police traced cell phone records, and now he's been charged with making a threat resulting in public alarm and making a murder threat.
He says it was all a joke.
Consumer activist Mary Bach may shop at Walmart, but she doesn't appear to be the company's biggest fan.
For the fifth time, the Pennsylvania resident sued the retailer for price discrepancies she says are endemic to its system. This particular incident involved 2 cents and a package of Banquet Brown-n-Serve sausages.
A judge awarded Bach $100 in damages and $80 in court costs. He agreed that Walmart was engaging in unfair trade practices.
What do you get when you put together a golf cart, a bottle of whiskey, and a scarecrow?
You get Jacqueline Hamilton, 59, of Indiana.
Hamilton was arrested last week after police responded to reports of an intoxicated woman weaving on the road on a golf cart. Turns out that "intoxicated woman" was actually Hamilton, who had decided to go to a CVS pharmacy store to purchase some Halloween decorations for her grandchildren.
Police caught up with her as she exited the drug store. She was holding a bottle of whiskey and a scarecrow.
Eight men were jailed in Kentucky for the nefarious crime of refusing to affix safety triangles onto their Amish buggies.
The men belong to the Old Order Swartzentruber Amish group.
Their religion has a strict code of conduct that regulates nearly everything from transportation to education.
They claim that the bright orange safety triangle is in violation of their beliefs. Their religion bars them from wearing or displaying bright colors. But Kentucky law requires the posting of safety triangles on slow-moving vehicles like horse-drawn buggies.
