An Idaho man who allegedly had sex with his cat for a year was arrested last week on charges of animal cruelty and crimes against nature.
Ryan Havens Tannenholz, 28, of Boise, isn't just a questionable cat guardian, he's also a self-proclaimed "furry" who takes on the fursona of a "sparkly" anthropomorphic dog he calls "Bubblegum Husky" (which sounds suspiciously like a porn name for a cartoon dog), reports The Huffington Post.
Tannenholz's cat's name is yet unreported, but his alleged sexual acts with Kitty Doe are serious crimes.
Oh Tannenholz, Oh Tannenholz...
The not-so-sparkly human Tannenholz was arrested for allegedly sexually abusing his cat from January 2012 to January 2013, reports HuffPo, rounding out a full year of alleged feline lovin' for the Boise man.
According to the "furry" community publication Flayrah, Tannenholz had several furry characters that he would portray, including a blue fox and a purple canine... and now possibly an orange jumpsuit.
Although sex with any animal is undoubtedly animal cruelty (which carries a possible maximum penalty of six months jail in Idaho), many might be confused as to what the alleged "crimes against nature" are in Tannenholz's case.
Crimes Against Nature
Colloquially, "crimes against nature" might include the failed clones of Ripley in "Alien Resurrection" or even putting ketchup on a steak. But in Idaho it specifically refers to:
- Anal or oral penetration in humans (i.e., sodomy), or
- Any sexual penetration of an animal.
If Tannenholz is convicted of penetrating his cat, then he could potentially face a minimum of five years in prison.
Then again, under the wording of this law, updated and adopted by the Idaho Supreme Court as of September 2010, oral sex between a man and a woman would be punishable by the same crime as Tannenholz's alleged cat-boinking.
Was Scalia Right?
Although the U.S. Supreme Court struck down same-sex sodomy bans as unconstitutional in 2003, states may still have blanket sodomy provisions that criminalize all forms of non-procreative or even extra-marital sex.
SCOTUS' own Miss Cleo, Justice Antonin Scalia, predicted that this decision would lead to decriminalizing bestiality and incest, paving the way for alleged "meow"-lesters like Tannenholz to roam free. But Idaho remains steadfast in all of its moral convictions; the state even criminalizes pre-marital sex.
While the "furry" community is at odds with how to feel about publicizing Bubblegum Husky's trip to the doghouse, some believe that their image is best served by shaming those "who break such laws," reports HuffPo.
Tannenholz should have known that when you mess with the cat, you get the claws.
- Boise man accused of having sex with cat (Idaho Statesman)
- Man Asserts 'Right' to Goat Sex, Gets Arrested (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
- Prosecutor's Can't Charge FL Man for Having Sex with Dog (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
- Florida Passes Anti-Bestiality Law (FindLaw's Blotter)