If you've been dutifully reading Legally Weird (which you should!), you know some pretty dang weird things went down this year. But who was the weirdest of the weird?
Here are the Top Ten Legally Weird Stories for 2013:
- For '2 Girls, 1 Cup,' Ira Isaacs Gets 4 Years in Prison. After reviewing a range of NSFW films ranging from bestiality to having sex while dining on feces, a jury sent notorious video producer Ira Isaacs to prison for obscenity, where he will no doubt have interesting rendezvous or two...
- Nudist Claims Alleged Child Porn Pics Are Just Family Photos. A nudist dad was arrested for child porn allegations based on naked pictures of underage girls that he claimed were family photos of his daughters. Au naturale never looked creepier.
- Inmate Sues Taco Bell for Stealing Doritos Locos Tacos Idea. A federal prison inmate sued Taco Bell over its Doritos Locos Tacos, claiming that he invented the Doritos taco shells. No word yet on whether he invented mixing sodas at the soda fountain, too.
- After Penis Implant, Man Sues Over 8-Month Erection. A man who fell on hard times sued his doc for medical malpractice for a faulty penile implant that worked a little too well. The hard lesson: What goes up, must come down.
- Threesome Ends With Stabbing Over Refusal to Switch Positions. In The Great Spooning Stabbing, a steamy tryst ended in a stabbing when a third wheel wanted more but was rebuffed. Love hurts.
- Fight Over Boyfriend's Farts Leads to 911 Call. A concerned neighbor in Michigan called the fart patrol police over what she thought was domestic violence, but it was all hot air, literally: The couple's fight was actually over a fart. No harm, no "foul"?
- After Threesome, Man Beats Girlfriend for Having Sex Without Him. In another threatening threesome, a boyfriend punched and kicked his girlfriend for continuing the lovemaking without him after he'd finished, making him the angriest one-minute man. They clearly need a safe word.
- Mom Hires Strippers for Son's 16th Birthday, Gets Arrested. A mom was charged with child endangerment charges after she hired strippers for her son's 16th birthday party. Clearly, she's a "Mean Girls" cool mom.
- N.C. Soldier, Wife Charged With Making Dog Porn. A soldier and his wife were arrested after one spouse allegedly filmed the other having sex with a dog. Eek!
- Escort Bites Man's Genitals, Charged With Attempted Murder. A Florida escort quickly turned a man's pleasure into pain when she bit his genitals and "eviscerated" his testicles. She was compensated with attempted murder charges.
Here's to an even weirder 2014!