"You're not you when you're hungry," or so Snickers' latest slogan says. And one New York City man should've heeded they're advice. Instead, he shoved an uneaten Snickers bar in a stranger's face, and proceeded to pummel him in the Times Square subway station last week.
Victim Ian Sklarsky says attacker Eliexer Reyes was unprovoked when he shoved a Snickers candy bar in Sklarsky's mouth. Sklarsky asked Reyes what was wrong with him and Reyes responded with a flurry of punches. We're not sure what Reyes' calorie or blood sugar count was prior to the attack, but maybe if he had just eaten the candy bar, he might've felt better.
- An Iowa man who attacked his pregnant wife with a McChicken sandwich;
- A Maryland man who stabbed a coworker who allegedly ate his meatball sandwich;
- A North Carolina senior citizen who assaulted another over an early bird, all you can eat dinner at Golden Corral;
- A Boston man who shoved fresh French fries in his stepdaughters face to shut her up;
- A Florida prison that subjected its inmates to "cruel and unusual" soy food;
- A Chicago wife who battered her husband with cupcakes; and
- A Florida woman who drunkenly assaulted her roommate with butter.
There Is No Food Left to Lose
All this animosity and wasted food is really a shame. Especially in a time when chefs are being ticketed for feeding the homeless and you can use that food to pay off your parking citations. So if you're not feeling yourself, eat that Snickers instead of fighting with it and you may just stay out of jail.
- Assault and Battery Penalties and Sentencing (FindLaw)
- Snickers Bars Stuffed with Meth, not Peanuts, Caught at LAX (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
- Man Fired Over Candy-Machine Forklift Stunt Is Denied Unemployment (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
- Alleged Shoplifter, Stripped on Video, Sues for Emotional Distress (FindLaw's Legally Weird)