Legally Weird: Dumb Crime Archives
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A "banana gun" was cause of a Colorado felony arrest for allegedly pointing the intimidating fruit at officers.

Nathen Rolf Channing, 27, was arrested for felony menacing near Grand Junction, Colorado, for allegedly drawing and pointing a banana at officers "in the same manner someone would draw a standard handgun from a concealed holster," reports Denver's KUSA. Channing claims that he was simply joking, but the cops didn't seem amused.

Can pointing a "banana gun" get you slapped with a felony?

An Iowa woman is facing drug charges after police helped her regain entry into her locked apartment and allegedly found a miniature marijuana operation inside.

Jailin A. Turner, 19, was charged possession of a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia, failure to affix drug tax stamp, and disorderly house. That last charge is likely due to allegations that when police arrived at Turner's house early Friday morning she was "yelling and kicking the window," reports the Iowa City Press-Citizen.

How did a lock-out turn into a drug bust?

A Florida man proved to himself (and all of us) that you can fit a chainsaw in your pants, but you might have to deal with a theft charge.

Police arrested Anthony Ballard, 28, on suspicion of shoplifting a chainsaw from the Treasure Coast Lawn Equipment store in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Despite all those sharp metal bits near his nethers, Ballard allegedly made it out of the store and dumped the power tool in a wooded lot before escaping. But as reported by TCPalm, police have some interesting surveillance video in their possession.

What happened after this feat of chainsaw pocketing, and what does Ballard face in court?

A Florida woman is facing aggravated battery charges for allegedly stabbing her boyfriend to protect her pet turtle.

Marie Seymour, 53, was taken into police custody on Tuesday, while her boyfriend was taken to a Palm Beach Gardens hospital. According to the Palm Beach Post, Seymour is accused of stabbing her boyfriend after a drunken threat that he was going to "harm her turtle."

Is there a legal defense available for this reptile lover?

A New York mom has been arrested for allegedly plotting to have her daughter's ex killed and fed to alligators.

Melisa Schonfield, 57, was arrested Friday after meeting with an undercover detective who she believed was her murder-for-hire contact. According to ABC News, Schonfield allegedly tried to hire Det. Dave Pustizzi to kill Ernesto Negrillo, the Florida baby daddy of her 2-year-old granddaughter. In addition to allegedly wanting Negrillo killed, Schonfield thought it best that her contract killer dispose of Negrillo's body by feeding it to alligators.

What kind of charges are pending for this alleged alligator murder-for-hire mom?

A DWI suspect arrested in New York is facing additional charges after he allegedly tried to eat his Breathalyzer test results.

According to The Associated Press, Kenneth Desormes, 40, was stopped for speeding on Interstate 95 on Sunday and arrested on suspicion of drunken driving. But back at the Tarrytown, New York, State Police station, Desormes allegedly tried to snatch and eat his Breathalyzer results as they were printing.

Will this DWI suspect get more than a tummyache for attempting to take a bite out of criminal justice?

A Washington man is facing three misdemeanor charges after using a bulldozer in an attempt to alter the course of a river on his property.

William Cayo Sr. was charged with three state environmental violations after authorities determined he had moved more than 5,700 square meters of river bed from the Tahuya River in western Washington, Reuters reports. The Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife Police's incident report notes that Mr. Cayo could "own the property under the water, and on both sides of the water," but that doing so "does not allow for him to move the waters of the state and divert the river.

"The water, resources, and fish in the water are property of the state," the report continues.

We try not to be too judgmental about potential criminal defendants, but you have to wonder about an "artist" who decides it's a good idea to paint graffiti on National Park landmarks all across the western United States.

Need more proof before you pass judgment? Not only did the accused vandal tag majestic rock formations (allegedly using acrylic paint), but she also posted pictures of her "artwork" on Instagram and Tumblr -- including a picture of herself in the act. Now, thanks to a little crowd-sourced sleuthing by two hiking blogs (Calipidder and Modern Hiker) and Reddit, the National Park Service has launched an investigation that will likely lead to charges.

What punishment could "creepytings" (the artist) potentially face? And how bad is the public's reaction to her so-called artwork?

A Tennessee man who stole a semi-truck and a box of frozen chicken was sentenced to 27 years in prison.

51-year-old Felix Hall was pulled over by police in 2012 in a Freightliner big rig that had been reported stolen, according to a Shelby County District Attorney's office press release. In the truck, police found bolt cutters, a cut lock, and a box of partially frozen chicken breasts that had been stolen from a local Wendy's restaurant.

While theft is a serious crime, how did stealing a truck and some chicken earn Hall almost three decades in lockup?

Massachusetts law enforcement don't want none unless you got drug-loaded buns hun! Or at least that was the case with Jill Roy, 33, who was allegedly caught smuggling heroin and painkillers underneath a prosthetic butt.

A police report obtained by The Smoking Gun reveals that Roy was arrested after drugs fell out of her pants during a traffic stop. During the booking process, officers observed that Roy's underwear had "a hard exterior," which turned out to be a fake booty that was hiding a cache of drugs underneath.