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Some things get better with age: a fine wine, a great book, this pun about a snickers ad campaign from the '80s. And some things don't age as well: sushi, JNCO jeans, and criminal prosecutions.

Which is why the North Dakota Supreme Court just tossed out a man's DUI conviction that came 20 years after the fact. The only things that should still be around from March of 1995 are re-airings of "Tommy Boy."

How does simulating oral sex with a statue of Jesus turn into a potential two years in juvie?

Start by examining the case of a 14-year-old Pennsylvania teen who has been charged with the "desecration of a venerated object." In July, the young man posted pictures to Facebook of him straddling a statute of a kneeling Jesus in front of an Everett, Pennsylvania, Christian organization, reports The Huffington Post.

What's going on in this Jesus statue oral sex case?

Burning Man is almost upon us, and eager Burners may not know a few very important legal facts about partying on the Playa.

For many, Burning Man is a symbol of freedom from authoritarian rule, social restrictions on dress, and inhibitions regarding drug use. But while it may feel like a pocket universe, it's actually still in Nevada... in the United States. And it's still subject to many laws.

So don't be a legal sparkle pony, know these five Burning Man legal facts before you hit the Playa:

Unreturned VHS Rental Gets Woman Arrested 9 Years Later

A South Carolina woman has been arrested for never returning a VHS rental. If you're wondering who in the world still watches VHS tapes, rest assured, the rental was from 2005 -- the year of "Hollaback Girl," "Capote," the death of Pope John Paul II, and Hurricane Katrina.

Kayla Michelle Finley, 27, of Pickens County, is facing a misdemeanor charge of "failure to return a rented video cassette," CNN reports.

The real crime: It was a Jennifer Lopez movie.

Bill Aims to Let Kids Chew Pop Tarts Into Guns

Thanks to a new bill, children in Oklahoma may soon be able to chew Pop-Tarts into the shape of guns without getting arrested. The goal is to rein in outlandish zero tolerance policies.

Here's hoping things don't take a turn for the "Lord of the Flies" during snack time.

As Colo. Pot Sales Top $5M, Bank Accounts Still a Problem

The bud business is booming in Colorado, the first state to legalize retail recreational marijuana sales to adults age 21 and older. In the first week of sales alone, pot retailers raked in more than $5 million. Combined wholesale and retail pot sales are expected to generate a jaw-dropping $600 million annually.

But here's the kicker: The businesses can't open bank accounts. The issue would make for the most bureaucratically frustrating episode of "Weeds."

An Idaho man who allegedly had sex with his cat for a year was arrested last week on charges of animal cruelty and crimes against nature.

Ryan Havens Tannenholz, 28, of Boise, isn't just a questionable cat guardian, he's also a self-proclaimed "furry" who takes on the fursona of a "sparkly" anthropomorphic dog he calls "Bubblegum Husky" (which sounds suspiciously like a porn name for a cartoon dog), reports The Huffington Post.

Tannenholz's cat's name is yet unreported, but his alleged sexual acts with Kitty Doe are serious crimes.

Mobile Medical Marijuana Dispensary Target of Police

Stewart Hauptman and Helen Cherry converted their 1985 Pace Arrow motor home into a rolling medical marijuana dispensary, which has become the target of police.

The couple travels in their Pace Arrow motor home around Southern California and Las Vegas serving about 700 members of their marijuana collective, which they say is legal under state law, the Press Enterprise reports.

39 Lashes: Is Adultery A Crime in New Hampshire?

So many laws, so little time. The New Hampshire State Legislature decided to clean house a bit and review some of the older laws that are no longer relevant to a modern society. The found a terrific place to start. The Legislature is considering changing the law that applies an original criminal penalty of one year in jail or up to 39 lashes -- for adultery. Sheesh, even Hester Prynne didn't have it quite that bad. In 1992, the penalty was humanely reduced to a fine of up to $1,200. Just tack it on to the alimony bill. However, the law making adultery a crime remains.

In God We Trust? Can an Atheist Hold Office in N.C?

Much hot air and blog space has been devoted to the quaint story of one man who likes to call himself a "post-theist" and whether or not he can hold elected office in the great state of North Carolina -- readers, here's a bit more. In its infinite wisdom, the Tar Heel State has decided that its citizens may exercise their freedom of religion, but those who do not believe in God cannot hold office. The text of the Constitution of North Carolina reads as follows: