Legally Weird: Strange Crime Archives
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"Don't f*ing shoot!" Those are the words of Bud, an African gray parrot in Ensley Township, Michigan. And they may have also been the last words of Martin Duram, Bud's owner who was shot and killed in his home last year.

So who's the prime suspect, according to Bud? And will he be able to testify at trial?

Florida Driver's BAC of .604 Too High for Jail, but He Denies Drinking

Some people are in denial about their drinking problems and others take denial to the next level. Stephen Allbritton is in the latter camp, and he is likely going to have to face facts.

Allbritton, a 46-year-old Florida man, was arrested with a blood alcohol content of .604 percent, or eight times the legal limit of .08. His alcohol level was so high, he couldn't be taken to jail -- the police had to take him to the hospital.

Since his kids were in the car with him during the incident, he's being charged with DUI and child neglect, reports the local ABC News. But despite his alcohol level, he denied drinking at all, according to a Lee County Sheriff's Office police report.

Burglars Smash Car Into Chanel Boutique to Steal Handbags

What would you do for a Chanel handbag? Would you save your pennies for a big stylish splurge or just drive a car through the security grill of a fancy boutique and scoot off with the pricey goods, leaving the car behind?

Last week, burglars in Paris opted for the latter, driving a sports utility vehicle through the Chanel boutique in a posh central neighborhood. This is one in a string of robberies of high-end shops in recent years reportedly. The robbers took off on motor scooters, leaving their car burning behind them after the smash n' grab.

How a Soda Theft Turned Into a Felony Robbery

Thirst can make you crazy, and it seems to have just done that to an 18-year-old in Springdale, Arizona. The young man, Cody Morris, is facing felony charges after an attempt to steal soda turned into a felony.

The crime was publicized on the local police's Facebook page and is making its way around the Internet, albeit with a deceptive headline that police find frustrating. It indicates that the young man was charged with a felony for stealing soda from the fountain. That is not what happened. Here is the story from the Springdale Police, who wanted to clear up a few key points.

A Texas woman was arrested by Odessa police and charged with theft from a human corpse after video from a funeral home showed her reaching into an open casket and removing something from a female corpse. That something turned out to be a ring, valued at just $10, and could land the woman in state jail for two years.

Beyond the lack of respect for the dead, and the general creepiness, this woman displayed an apparent lack of concern for the legal consequences of messing with a dead body. But as Texas' statute illustrates, you can get into a lot of trouble stealing from dead people.

Man Scales Rock Face, Proposes, Goes to Jail

Some people give a lot of thought to a marriage proposal, hoping to really wow the future spouse. Michael Banks certainly tried to do that when he scaled the side of a 581-foot rock in Fresno, California to propose. But it seems he should have given this proposal idea just a bit more consideration because he got in a lot of trouble for scaling the prohibited rock and more, according to the Huffington Post.

Did the woman say yes? Well, yes, though she may have quickly regretted it. There is more to this glorious tale of love.

Denise Gunderson had a pretty sweet racket going: show up to weddings (uninvited, of course), mingle, have a good time, and go home with stolen wallets, credit cards, and cash. Now, the woman who ruined so many honeymoons will be serving seven years of her own in a San Diego prison after pleading guilty to grand theft and identity theft.

Her crime spree may be over, but the newlyweds she robbed might never get their money back.

Pay to Pray Website Owes $7.8M for Deceptions

People have long believed in the power of prayer to heal and have even paid for prayers. The practice of trying to cover the bases with God extends to many religions and sects and has now found its place on the web. The problem, however, is that promising prayers will deliver certain results and not being able to back that up violates consumer protection laws.

Now, a Seattle, Washington man is being ordered to pay users millions of dollars, money they gave him and fictitious pastors invented by him for the power of their prayers. That Washington State Attorney General's Office investigated Benjamin Rogovy for a year, according to ABC News, and found his claimed blessings were a sham. Rogovy will be paying $7.8 million back.

Hoverboard Shootings: Yes, It's a New Thing

You've heard of the getaway car and even the getaway bicycle but what about the getaway hoverboard? The first known hoverboard getaway was successfully completed last week, and now one more mode of transport presents for fleeing criminals.

Dallas, Texas police said that a man on a hoverboard rolled by a car, shot at the driver, and rolled away, eluding police. The shooting occurred in the wee hours of the morning, and there is no news yet on the shooter's whereabouts. Dallas police told Time last week that the investigation is ongoing.

Man in Walmart Vest Leaves Store With Four Flat-Screen TVs

With so many Walmart stores around the country, there is no shortage of news stories about the chain. But this latest is most amazing for the fact that it doesn't happen more often. A man in a Virginia location donned a Walmart vest over his clothes and stole multiple televisions from the store, reports UPI.