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Amusement Park Sued for Letting Chimp Smoke and Drink Coke

The Animal Legal Defense Fund is suing a New Orleans amusement park that allegedly lets its chimp smoke cigarettes and drink Coca Cola. The rights group is using a new law that classifies captive chimpanzees as endangered, just like those in the wild.

It is reportedly the first suit of its kind. The chimp's name is Candy and the suit, filed this week in Baton Rouge, states that she is lonely and needs company. Also, plaintiffs argue, she shouldn't be smoking and drinking Cokes. Some locals have sought to have Candy moved for decades, according to the Associated Press. The adjusted Endangered Species Act provided a legal basis for another attempt.

Look, far be it from me to judge what other people want to do with their hair. Me? I want whoever's got the scissors to have 20/20 vision. But others, like Joel Nixon's loyal clients, don't mind a little diminished eyesight.

They call him "The Blind Barber," and, until 2012, they found him at Tony's Barber Shop in Norton, Massachusetts. Nixon was fired two years ago, and filed a discrimination claim against the shop and its owner, Tony Morales. This week, the Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination ruled his firing was illegal and awarded the Blind Barber $100,000.

Among fast food burger joints, few have so carefully refined their brand and image as In-N-Out Burger. The limited (and secret) menu, the California vibe, and the customer service make it everyone's first stop when they hit the West Coast. But as anyone who's stopped at an In-N-Out knows, those lines can get pretty long, and many of us have dreamt about having a Double-Double delivered instead.

In steps food delivery service, the savior for lazy fans of Animal Style burgers and fries. But the burger chain is pumping the brakes on the delivery service, suing DoorDash to keep them from delivering those delicious, delicious burgers.

The Republic of Texas was its own country for a decade between 1836 and 1846 before being annexed by the United States. And some Texans aren't big fans of that annexation, maintaining that the Republic of Texas remains a sovereign nation.

This is all well and good. After all, residents of Key West consider themselves citizens of the Conch Republic; got their own flag and everything. The problem comes when you start serving court papers from your "sovereign nation" on a judge and lawyer, ordering them to appear before an "international common law court." That kind of behavior will get you arrested.

The explosion of craft beer over the past decade has expanded beer-drinkers' palates and ignited several high-profile legal cases in the process. How carefully do you have to label your beer? What constitutes a craft beer? And is there a secret war between macro and micro brews?

Here's a look at three recent lager lawsuits and where beer law may be headed:

Struck by 16-Pound Pine Cone, Lawsuit Seeks $5 Million

It's a bird. It's a plane. It's a pine cone. And it may have caused brain damage, according to a lawsuit filed in San Francisco this week.

A Navy veteran is suing the US government and others for negligence after a giant pine cone fell from a tree at the San Francisco Maritime National Park and crushed his skull last year.

Loving Hug Wasn't Negligent: Aunt Loses Case Against 12-Year-Old Nephew

Michael Tarala, 12, was found not guilty of negligence by a Connecticut jury today. The boy's aunt claimed that she was due $127,000 in damages resulting from her nephew's too-hard hug on his eighth birthday.

A six-person jury panel this afternoon determined that Jenniffer Connell did not suffer compensable injury. They were apparently not won over by her testimony about the difficulties of handling hors d'ouevres at parties with a broken wrist. They were similarly unmoved by claims that the wrist made it hard to manage a third-floor walk-up in Manhattan.

Food Fight: PETA Sues Whole Foods for False Claims on Humane Meat

Morrissey sang that meat is murder, and PETA couldn't agree more. But shoppers at Whole Foods could long console themselves that their cuts came from friendlier farms than most. Now People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is suing the posh supermarket chain, claiming that its humane meat rating system is a farce.

PETA, in a class action lawsuit filed in California on Monday, says that Whole Foods barely surpasses national meat standards and is deceiving shoppers. Animals are living in poor conditions, despite the five-step rating system which grades suppliers based on their creatures' quality of life, among other factors. Whole Foods, meanwhile, believes that PETA manipulated a pig farm video posted to prove the suit's validity.

Daytime Dog Visitor Is Not an Illegal Tenant for Eviction Purposes

Daytime dog visits do not amount to pet harboring, says a Bronx judge. A New York civil court found that tenants did not violate a settlement agreement or their lease by allowing their sister's dog to visit periodically during the day.

Cookie, a Pomeranian recently registered as a service dog, has been the subject of a protracted landlord-tenant dispute. But the landlord lost his eviction case after his witnesses admitted at an evidentiary hearing that they never heard the dog bark at night.

Savannah, Georgia, known for its wonderful Southern charm and its equally wonderful liberal open container laws, may also be the site of the Great Segway Wars of 2015. While many of us (hand raised) hoped that the monstrous vehicles would be banned in a great city like Savannah, it turns out that there are several Segway tour companies doing business in town.

Well, two such Segway tour companies are locked in battle. This sounds like the making of an epic scene: two fronts of Segways, lances raised, charging at each other on their two-wheeled contraptions. Instead (unfortunately), the two sides will face off as litigants sparring over a proposed sale and an allegedly ignored non-disclosure agreement.