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In a bizarre legal loophole, Oklahoma's criminal statutes don't prohibit forcible oral sodomy if the victim is too intoxicated to consent, even to the point of complete unconsciousness. So said a unanimous state appeals court, confirming a lower court's dismissal of criminal charges against one teen who had oral sex with another who said she has no memory of the incident and whose blood alcohol content afterwards was .34.

In a curt, two-page opinion, four judges on Oklahoma's Court of Criminal Appeals agreed that they "will not, in order to justify prosecution of a person for an offense, enlarge a statute beyond the fair meaning of its language." So what is the statute, and what, specifically, is its language?

CT Woman Calls 911 for Pizza Problem

Emergency dispatch services are always available to handle a range of issues, but pizza delivery complaints are not among them. A woman in Hartford, Connecticut, who remained unnamed in media reports, called 911 to say that she ordered a small half-bacon pizza and instead got a half-hamburger, according to UPI.

The 911 dispatcher took this in stride and by all accounts was extremely reasonable, considering the nature of this lady's emergency. But sometimes people are punished for making false emergency calls.

If you, like me, were wondering when you'd finally be able to get married with a pasta strainer on your head, your day of joy has finally arrived. New Zealand has granted the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, whose members refer to themselves as "Pastafarians," the right to perform marriages in the country last year.

And although the group has yet to tie a couple's "noodley knot" just yet, it's likely only a matter of time before American Pastafarians can enjoy the same marriage rights as their Kiwi counterparts.

If peeing in public is cool, consider San Francisco to be Miles Davis. The City by the Bay has had a long history battling public urination, and has deployed numerous strategies, from $500 fines to urine-repellant paint, to deter public pissers, with little or no success.

But San Francisco may have finally stumbled upon a solution. The city's (and possibly the nation's) first open air urinal, located in newly renovated Dolores Park. Just in time for the Super Bowl!

23 Car Crashes in 5 Years: Insurance Fraud?

What would you do for $55 grand? Would you crash your car two dozen times? How about if it was a crime? A man in Utah claimed 23 car accidents in the last 5 years to collect on insurance and now he's collecting criminal charges, according to the Associated Press.

Navid Monjazeb got over $55,000 from insurance carriers over 5 years. Now he has added criminal charges to his collection and he is looking at 12 counts of insurance fraud, 2 counts of forgery, 7 counts of reckless endangerment, and a pattern of unlawful activity after making allegedly false claims.

Ex Taco Bell Exec Sues Uber Driver for Filming His Attack

Do you remember golden boy Edward Golden? He is the guy who was captured on film attacking his Uber driver, Edward Caban, and then expressed remorse when he became a national laughing stock.

The Uber driver Caban posted the video of Golden, a drunken Taco Bell executive, on YouTube. It immediately went viral and Golden lost his job promptly, CNBC reports. He issued a public apology about attacking the driver and tried to repair his reputation to no avail. Now Golden's remorse is gone and he's feeling feisty again. He's suing Edward Caban for $5 million.

Can Detroit Artist's Lawsuit Protect Her Mural From Building Owners?

A Detroit artist is suing under federal law to protect a mural she made from destruction by new building owners. The mural is considered a symbol of the rising stature of the North End neighborhood where the building stands, and the artwork is said to have contributed to the area's reputation.

But now the developer wants to put windows in the building or maybe even sell it altogether and is offering the artist a minimal sum, accordng to the Detroit Free Press. Katherine Gibbs, the artist who made "The Illuminated Mural" is fighting to protect her work under the Visual Arts Rights Act of 1990, which safeguards works from "distortion, mutilation, or other modification ... which would be prejudicial to [the artist's] honor or reputation." Will she succeed?

Sampling the Cannabis: Alaska to Allow Pot Cafes

Americans in search of a legal high used to fly to Amsterdam for its pot cafes. Now, with marijuana legalization and decriminalization spreading across the country, that is less necessary.

But many states still have limitations on the canna-biz, allowing medical marijuana sales only to people with a prescription, or no legal pot at all. And none have done what Alaska has, which is pass a law that allows public consumption in a civilized setting, like a cafe.

We've all had that dream -- you know, the one where you think you're getting your last 40 bucks from the ATM, only the balance on your receipt has few more digits and commas than you expected. And that little yellow card from Monopoly flashes before your eyes: BANK ERROR IN YOUR FAVOR.

Now imagine the nightmare version of that, where all those digits are in red, and you owe the bank trillions. Not as fun, right? But that's what happened to some First Hawaiian Bank customers, who woke up Tuesday morning trillions of dollars in debt.

Town of Swett for Sale for a Sweet Quarter Million

If San Francisco and New York rents are getting you down there is a town for you. It's affordable. There is plenty of open space. And it is for sale, according to the Rapid City Journal.

Swett, South Dakota is on the market for a cool quarter million dollars right now. It is 6 acres and has a single house and a bar. In light of real estate prices elsewhere, Swett is a steal.