Delivered: Our Valentine to Judge Posner - U.S. Seventh Circuit
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Delivered: Our Valentine to Judge Posner

Confession Number One:

The problem with boldly stating in December - on the Internet, no less - a plan to wax poetic about Seventh Circuit Judge Richard Posner for Valentine’s Day is the necessity to follow through come February.

But we promised a sonnet, and a sonnet we shall deliver.

Confession Number Two:

The last time we wrote a sonnet was in high school, when it was an English requirement. We doubt the poetic musings of our teenage years were much worse than what you are about to read now, and they certainly can’t compare to Julia Stiles’ screenwriter-assisted, angsty, heartfelt sentiments in Ten Things I Hate About You. Here goes nothing.

A Sonnet for Judge Posner

The wisest jurist courts attorneys’ hearts
Through brief opinions rife with witty flare.
Success finds him - in roughly equal parts -
Famed for books, cases, and his corner lair.

His varied use of the noble ostrich,
Sweet disdain of Bluebook hypertrophy;
In law books, his ruminations bewitch
Young legal minds that have yet to go free.

Though higher power may choose to review,
The dark chiming of reversal’s death knell
Not often enters the jurist’s purview,
(Nor should it on appeal in Kiobel.)

He’s beloved in appellate dominions.
Why? Because he writes his own opinions.

Yes, we know our “sonnet” to Judge Posner lacks a metaphor, and the meter doesn’t scan properly, but that’s what you get when a lawyer tries to write a poem. (District Judge Sam Sparks in Texas is the exception, not the norm.)

Don’t worry, we’re not quitting our day job, and we’ll return to appellate law as usual next week.

For now, we wish all of you Seventh Circuit practitioners with soft, squishy hearts, (and no, that is not a physical or psychological impossibility), a very poetic Valentine’s Day.

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