Is there a better place for people watching than a criminal court in California? Most of the nation would agree that us Californians are a wee bit odd. Head to the nearest criminal court and that oddity is multiplied exponentially.
No where is this more evident than wardrobe choices. You are in court. You’re facing time. What do you choose to wear? Even worse, you are the attorney, you are representing someone who is facing time, and you choose to wear that? Go home, watch some Boston Legal, and learn something.
From lawyers to laypeople, here are some of the most amazingly bad or inappropriate wardrobe choices for court:
When she plodded up to the defense table, one wouldn’t be remiss in assuming that she was just another inappropriately-dressed defendant. Not only was she wearing Uggs (in eighty degree weather, I might add), but she was also wearing a sweater-dress - the knit kind that look like she stole Shaquille O’Neal’s sweater. Don’t dress like a homeless high-schooler when you are a 50-year-old attorney.
Tiny Suit Jacket
I feel for this guy. He’s just a little dude - probably about 5’6”. Still, that suit jacket. The notches of his label were at his chin. The bottom of the jacket was at his belt. His shirt cuffs were an inch below the end of the suit sleeves. It was almost as if he had stolen his child’s suit for court.
Waxed Hipster Mustache
There’s not much to be said here. Fringe fashion doesn’t belong in a courtroom. Heck, waxed moustaches don’t belong on anyone. You look stupid.
“Ryderz” Motorcycle Jacket, Pants, Helmet, Boots
His gear matched. It was color-coordinated. However, it’s probably inadvisable to wear sport-bike racing gear to traffic court. Odds are, he was there for a speeding ticket. Good luck selling an excuse while wearing “RACING” on your chest, back, arms, etc.
Yup, in My White T
Blame Dem Franchize Boyz. They popularized one of the worst fashion trends in American history: the absurdly over-sized fresh white t-shirt. “Yup, in my white T.” Tack on the massive gold chain and the fitted snap-back cap and you have a perfectly court-inappropriate (and slightly dated) look.
Dress Shirt Tucked Into Carpenter Jeans
It’s a common refrain amongst fashion-conscious individuals: carpenter jeans, and jean shorts, must die. Personally, I think jean shorts need to make a comeback. But carpenter jeans? With a tucked in dress shirt? Not egregious, like Uggs-lawyer, but still pretty bad.
The bottom line is, if you are a lawyer, your look should be boring. Don’t wax your facial hair into odd, pointy shapes. Don’t wear your granddaughter’s clothes. Put on a suit - preferably one that fits.
As for your clients, we know - they do stupid things. Still, if at all possible, reminding them of appropriate attire really can help their case.
- BigLaw Wardrobe on a SmallLaw Budget: Online Shopping (FindLaw’s Greedy Associates)
- Building Your Professional Wardrobe on the Cheap (FindLaw’s Greedy Associates)
- Can a Lawyer Wear Leopard Print to Work? (FindLaw’s Greedy Associates)