Tomorrow is "Bring Your Dog to Work Day." What's today? At the rate this fauxliday thing is going, it's probably listen to Regina Spektor Day, or be a grumpy lawyer on a blog day. I'm going with both.
So, should you bring the pooch to work? Are you kidding me? Here are five reasons not to:
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You Can't Bill for Poop Scooping
Yeah. You know what your job is? It's to bill. Bill, bill, bill. Any time you spend walking Brutus the Bulldog around the building, or scooping up his poop, is time that you can't bill to clients. And the only thing important in life is billing.
He'll Probably Bite Someone or Something
Perhaps your dog isn't exactly what one would call "calm." Now, you're thinking about bringing him into an office full of strangers, and possibly their dogs as well. Havoc will ensue, as will an impromptu unsanctioned dog fighting session, hurt feelings, and upcoming litigation -- a situation we usually like to call a deposition.
Think About Clients With Allergies
Even if Clifford the Collie is calm, he's still a walking nightmare to those who are allergic to pet dander. This could be fun if you bring your dog to a meet and confer and opposing counsel is allergic. On second thought ...
He Might Be Dognapped
Yeah. I said it. Bring your King Charles Cavalier Spaniel to work and someone may just have to steal him or her. (Yes, I'm talking about Braxlee, the dog with her own Instagram account.) Because seriously, who can resist that face?
This Was All Sarcasm. Bring Your Dog. Please.
With the caveat that Cujo and others of his ilk should stay home, ignore the above sarcasm, as well as the whining of others. Why? Your puppy deserves a day out of the house, socialization is good for her, and may be good for the folks at your office too. But most of all, your office needs puppies. They just make life better.
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