Recently in Law Firm Rainmaking Category

Thanks to television advertising, many of us have fond memories of our hometown personal injury attorneys’ commercials. In South Louisiana, where I grew up, there were two attorneys whose slogans dominated the air waves: Morris Bart (“I’m Morris Bart, and I’m on your side”) and E. Eric Guirard (“Get the E guarantee!”).

Bart is still going strong. Guirard was disbarred in 2009.

There are plenty of sketchy things that warrant disbarment — charging excessive fees, witness-tampering, etc — but Guirard’s sins were comparably tame. He was disbarred because his business model violated the rules of professional responsibility.

Perhaps you've heard about DLA Piper's "churn that bill, baby" debacle.

Last week, the New York Times' Dealbook reported that internal correspondence from DLA Piper -- disclosed in a fee dispute between the firm and Adam H. Victor -- included casual quips about the firm's overbilling practices. DLA Piper attorneys joked in the emails, "I hear we are already 200k over our estimate -- that's Team DLA Piper!" and noted that the firm had "random people working full time on random research projects in standard 'churn that bill, baby!' mode."

After years of the small law life, you decide that you would rather fill your days with bocce ball than 12(b)(6). Don't just turn off the lights and take down your shingle; consider whether you could actually make a tidy little profit by selling your practice.

It's like Rod Blagojevich with Obama's vacated Senate seat, but without the indictment-worthy conflicts: You've got this thing (your practice) and it's ... golden. Don't just give it up for nothing. In most states, you can sell your practice to another qualified attorney.

But before you rush into anything, the American Bar Association has a few tips for selling your practice.

Why do we leave nap time behind as we grow up?

In preschool, conventional wisdom says that kids need a nap because they become whiny and cranky without one. Does anyone believe that adults are different? Take a look around your office at 1 or 2 or 3 p.m. Hang out by the coffee machine for 5 minutes to watch your fellow office zombies attempt to caffeinate their way through the afternoon. Then try telling yourself that adults who wake up early and stay up late don’t need a nap.

Or — since we all know that you want to justify napping in the office — we could just turn to the science for support.

Eight point three million dollars. That's a heck of a compensatory award for a single plaintiff, and Friday's massive verdict was the first of many expected in DePuy Hip Replacement lawsuits (an estimated 10,000 people have lawsuits pending, according to Walkup Melodia Kelly & Schoenberger, the firm that represented this plaintiff.) That is a lot of suits, and a lot of lawyers.

From The Hip

What was the problem with the hip? According to the hip-maker's recall website, some patients needed "revision surgery" after having Johnson and Johnson's metal-on-metal hip implanted. That may be putting it mildly. According to Bloomberg, the failure rate may be as high as 21 percent after four years to 49 percent after six.

It's hard to read ... well, anything this week without coming across a mention on Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg's new mission: Lean In.

Lean In is a multi-faceted approach to helping women develop as leaders and assert themselves. If you're interested in leaning, Sandberg has plenty of options for you: a book, a website, and a social networking opportunity. (Would you expect anything less from a Facebook exec?)

Passive aggressive Facebook posts — in which people announce their opposition to a government policy, a reality show plot line, or someone's choice of fragrance — are not terribly effective. Such messages rarely even reach the object of their ire.

A class action settlement objector's Facebook posting, however, can ruffle the right feathers.

Bill Maher and Donald Trump have a bit of a feud going on. While it hasn't reached Biggie-2Pac status yet, it has resulted in a $5 million dollar lawsuit stemming from comments Maher made about Trump's mother having sex with an orangutan, reports CNN.

Classy.

It's now what you're expecting either. This isn't a defamation claim - it's a breach of contract claim.

If you're going to succeed as a lawyer, you need to network.

For extroverts, networking is a piece of cake. For introverts, networking is a piece of cake iced with hot sauce and cayenne pepper. It. Is. Painful. And it causes profuse sweating. (Er ... that's what we hear from a friend.)

How do you stop turning into a sweaty wreck, and make the connections that will help your practice grow? Fear not: There are a few workarounds.

Pop quiz. You're Lindsay Lohan. Your attorney, Shawn Holley, has spent years helping you avoid significant jail time. You repay her by:

(a) Giving her a necklace, which you may or may not have purchased.

(b) Agreeing to not drive/wreck her car.

(c) Punching a psychic in the face.

(d) Firing her. Before you pay the $300,000 in legal fees you owe.