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Blottdown: Cops, Fake Cops, Ruffians & Speed

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By Caleb Groos on July 31, 2009 3:28 PM

The weekly rundown of crime stories that blur the lines between idiot and genius, justified and not so much, freedom and incarceration... you be the judge.

Taking the law into your own hands. What happens when a fake cop pulls over a real cop? The fake one gets arrested. What happens when you use big lights attached to your Beamer to make other drivers think you're a cop and pull out of the way. If one of them is a real cop, you'll likely get arrested.

Taking the trash into your own hands. A Pittsburg area trash vigilante has been cited by the cops... for littering. His attempts to clean up the Greenfield section of town (known as The Run) involved gathering up debris and trash strewn on the street and putting it into piles for the city to collect. The city didn't like that so much. They prefer that he organize his cleanups with the city and use city approved bags. "I'm 62 years old and down with cancer," he said. "How much do they expect me to do for free?"

"We're going to play a game. I'm going to take your scooter." An 11 year old in Cincinnati took a fancy to the scooters being ridden by a couple of other kids at the park. So he scooter-jacked them with a fake gun (unsuccessfully). Unfortunately, in juvie there are no scooters.

There'll be time enough for countin'... An alleged Pennsylvania bank robber learned Kenny Rogers' lesson the hard way when he got busted counting "his" money as he walked down the street after the heist.

What, my money's no good to you? A 54 year old Michigan man wanted to buy Boardwalk and Park Place during a friendly game of Monopoly with his neighbor. She wasn't interested in selling. We'll see if he can even afford Baltic Avenue once he gets out of jail... actual jail, where he was taken after being arrested for smacking his neighbor in the face and knocking her glasses off. As another neighbor wisely summed up, "I thought that was violent for a game that's supposed to be friendly. I guess he takes his Monopoly pretty seriously."

Do you take this man... There is no time or place for family violence. Particularly not at a wedding reception. Particularly not if it involves the groom and his roommate/new brother-in-law. And an even worse idea if the groom happens to have six unregistered guns and lots of ammo in his car.

Sure, hop on. How do you know you're awesome? When your girlfriend needs to be in court in less than 15 minutes and you say, no problem -- hop on the back of my super-bike. How do you know you're totally awesome? You do that even when the court is 135 miles away and getting there on time would challenge the laws of physics. What's a potential flaw in the plan? Cops -- who might hear you doing 130mph at 8:15 in the morning.

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