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Blottdown: "Nurses," Judges, Hotheads and Idiots

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By Caleb Groos on August 14, 2009 9:58 AM

The weekly rundown of crime stories that blur the lines between idiot and genius, justified and not so much, freedom and incarceration... you be the judge.

Live your dreams. Betty Lichtenstein just wanted to thank all the little people that made this possible. She's not a "licensed" or "trained" nurse, but she was the "Connecticut Nursing Association"'s 2008 Nurse of the Year. Just ask anyone who attended the awards dinner Betty spent $2,000 staging for the group she invented.

Judge not. Under those robes, judges are just people. They put their pants on one leg at a time, just like you and me. Sure, some judges might deflate a tire on someone's car over a parking peeve. And occasionally one might have to do a little jail time for recruiting defendants in his court as prostitutes and driving them across state lines in an RV for parties with his creepy old secret society brethren. But hey, it's not like they sit in judgment of us, right?

The intern did what? Police interns are not allowed to arrest people. Particularly if they are drunk on a Friday morning and pretending their index finger and thumb are a gun.

Classy with a capital Kane. Early Sunday morning, budding NHL star Patrick Kane and his cousin flagged J.R.'s cab to make their way home. You'd think a pro hockey player could afford to throw in a little tip on top of the $13.80 meter. Or at least let the cabbie keep the change on $15. Well, apparantly he's not that type of guy. According to J.R. the cab driver, Kane is the type of guy that grabs a cabbie by the throat while he and his cousin pummel the poor man for being 20 cents short on their change (and also takes back the $15).

Yeah... sorry about that. What would cause a man to take coffees to the local police station as a peace offering over an incident that occurred 12 years ago? A violent DUI arrest. One much like the arrest the same man would experience the next day, when he passed out in a running car, punched out a breathalyzer machine, made death threats against the arresting officers and attempted to flood his jail cell by running the sink non-stop.

More bank robbing tips. Last week we discussed not robbing the same back you were previously arrested for robbing. Also remember not to rob your own bank. If you do, don't give the teller your real name, account number and ID. Also don't wear a Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt. That might help police find you, and will earn you a pretty lame nickname like the "Winnie the Pooh Bandit," and that's not the rep you want to take with you to the big house. At least go with Tigger.

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