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It's Justin Bieber's 18th birthday!
And while the androgynous heartthrob may still look like a pre-pubescent girl, that won't stop some ladies -- and men -- from rejoicing. In less than 24 hours, the Beebs has gone from jailbait to ripe for the picking.
But that's just part of what makes his 18th birthday both oh-so-good and oh-so-bad. The 18 and over crowd can now lure him into bed, but the rest of you can't.
Now that he's a legal adult, statutory rape laws may prevent your Bieber sex dreams from coming true. So think twice before you track the crooner down at his Los Angeles apartment -- California outlaws all sexual intercourse between Bieber and a minor.
But luckily for Bieber, the law's greatest birthday gifts can fill this gap. Now that he's 18, he's free to indulge his inner freak. Not only has he earned himself the right to legally purchase pornography, he's officially allowed to drop some cash on a stripper.
Strippers and porn -- what else does an 18-year-old boy want for his birthday?
Now, for those of you who have a more uh, wholesome view of the teen, you may not be so happy to hear what else he can do. That love affair with one Miss Selena Gomez? Well, once you turn 18, you have a legal right to marry.
All apologies for bursting your bubble. But someone had to point out that Justin Bieber's 18th birthday isn't such a great thing for his young and adoring fans.