OK, you might want to settle in because this is a little complicated. It's a story about childhood friends and childhood pets. And when one childhood friend steals the other's pet.
Only the one childhood friend is Mila Kunis. And the pet is a chicken named Doggie. And the other is a budding music star with a new video. And this all happened 25 years ago in Ukraine. And yes, of course, a childhood friend is suing Mila Kunis for stealing her pet chicken Doggie.
Which Came First? The Chick ...
Have we gotten to the bottom of this story? Not even close. Because the friend, Kristina Karo, says Kunis stole the chicken while the two were in first grade. Kunis says she didn't.
Karo says there's a lawsuit (for $5,000, citing her deep attachment to the chicken, her years of consequent therapy, and her continuing emotional distress). Kunis says there isn't. While there is a statute of limitations on theft (I mean, I'm guessing Ukraine has a statute of limitations, although I'm not sure what their deal is regarding extradition for chicken theft), Karo's supposed lawsuit claims that her new proximity to Kunis has caused her to relive her childhood trauma.
With all of these conflicting reports, here may be no way to separate fact from fiction from poultry in the case. Unless ...
Tale of the Taped
Kano's alleged lawsuit comes on the heels of the release of her new music video. Kunis and husband Ashton Kutcher posted a video response. Let's let the parties battle it out right here.
And the Winner Is...
Us, clearly. This is the perfect controversy. It's Hollywood's A-List versus Hollywood's DD-List, only with line dancing viral video denials, and a chicken who has almost surely bought the farm by now. RIP, Doggie.