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Albert Pujols Challenged to Lie Detector Test in Snarky, Dark Settlement Letter

Star baseball player Albert Pujols recently sued ex-player Jack Clark for telling radio listeners Pujols took steroids. Clark responded on Monday by challenging Pujols to take a dual lie detector tests to clear his name.

The lie-detector challenge is laid out in one of the snarkiest settlement letters you will ever read (attached below in all its glory).

St. Louis lawyer Al Watkins (representing Clark) pulls no punches in his 5-page diatribe that reads more like a Reddit forum post than a legal document.

Watkins includes a Jack LaLanne juice reference, a recommendation for the best Italian restaurant in the Dominican Republic and some intensely depressing life philosophy from his father.

So will Albert Pujols and Jack Clark actually settle this litigation over a polygraph machine? Pujols apparently has 10 days to respond before the offer is withdrawn, per Watkins' letter.