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Sometimes you just want a date on Valentine's Day. You don't want the relationship or the emotional attachment. A hot make-out session and a little company are just enough to take your mind off work (and make you feel like less of a loser).
The problem with this scenario is that it never works. Someone inevitably gets attached and parlays the one-time date into something else. But what if you could change that? What if there was a Valentine's contract that limited your dating liability?
There is, and this blogger is happy to tell you that it's wonderfully crass -- and potentially enforceable. Elie Mystal at Above the Law pointed us towards this beauty, and the best part is that it's customizable to your needs.
It's a Valentine's Date form contract.
And if your One True Love agrees to its terms, you will be the recipient of no more than three (3) displays of public affection -- including one of your exact choosing. Just don't be gross.
The Valentine's contract is also fully integrated, explicitly relieving you of any promises made in an attempt to woo your date into bed. You won't be in a relationship, meeting the parents or holding hands. Unless you want to, that is.
But before you get to that point -- or the bedroom -- you might want to add a second contract into the Valentine's Day mix. A sexual consent form is sure to alert your date to the fact that the Valentine's contract wasn't a joke -- you really are a loser.