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Justice Sonia Sotomayor Goes to Sesame Street

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By Stephanie Rabiner, Esq. on February 09, 2012 5:03 AM

Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?

Justice Sonia Sotomayor can. Earlier this week, the first Latina on the nation's highest court took a trip to the make-believe Street to have a cup of cafe with her friend Maria -- and to adjudicate a spat between Baby Bear and the trespassing Goldilocks.

She even donned one of her "impwessive" black robes.

Unfortunately, her uh, jurisprudence wasn't as impressive:

Seriously, Justice Sotomayor. Goldilocks went into Baby Bear's house -- uninvited, mind you -- and then sat in his chair and broke it. Since when are ignorance and exhaustion defenses to trespass? She doesn't even have a case for private necessity!

And really, a Supreme Court Justice is smart enough to know that there's no way glue can fix a chair that wasn't even sturdy enough to hold a puppet. Goldilocks owes Baby Bear a new chair -- or at least the fair market value of the old one.

How much could that possibly cost?  $5? Baby Bear was robbed.

Someone should advise him to file a petition for rehearing en banc before the end of the current term. If the warrantless GPS tracking case is any indication, some members of the Supreme Court have a higher respect for the sanctity of private property than does Justice Sotomayor.

Hey -- it may just be a chair, but it was Baby Bear's chair. Goldilocks can't go around breaking things as part of a quest to make her life "just right."

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