Block on Trump's Asylum Ban Upheld by Supreme Court
Halloween is quickly approaching, and the closer it gets, the harder it's going to be to find that "Iron Man" costume you desperately wanted. But being that you're a lawyer, you should make your costume legal-themed. Because why not? When everyone else is coming as a sexy velociraptor*, you'll win the prize for originality.
* Author's note: "sexy velociraptor" was initially written as a joke, but I Googled it out of curiosity and, sure enough, this online costume store offers five "sexy dinosaur" costumes, including a "sexy Barney" costume. Because of course they do.
1. A Law Suit
In "Philadelphia," one of the five movies that make lawyers look terrible, Denzel Washington attends a costume party with Tom Hanks. Denzel walks around with papers attached to a business suit, and everyone wonders what he is. He's a law suit. Get it? Use this only as an absolute last resort.
2. Lady Justice
Listen: Rather than indulge in your run-of-the-mill "sexy [whatever]," the obvious choice is to put your hair in a bun, put on a toga, and grab some scales, a sword, and a blindfold. But it's a prop-filled costume, meaning you'll want to set down a lot of those things while you're mingling, and everyone will wonder what you are. Plus, getting across town on the subway isn't really conducive to carrying all that stuff around.
3. A Giant Gavel
I searched and searched for "gavel costume," but I got only pictures of little plastic prop gavels. No, listen: I want a man-sized gavel costume. This will require making one yourself. You'll need some brown fabric, a sewing machine, and some metal wire that you can bend into the appropriate shape. In a pinch, you might be able to repurpose this hammerhead shark outfit.
4. A Supreme Court Justice -- From Some Other Supreme Court
Judges in the United States are so abysmally boring. Just a black robe? Really? Try dressing up as a Justice of the Supreme Court of Canada, where their robes inspire what can only be called "holiday cheer." The German Supreme Court's outfits are pretty cool, too. For reference, here's a website with a ton of pictures of others countries' court attire. Or you can make up your own (e.g., "Intergalactic Imperial Supreme Court").
5. Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
"He used to be a caveman, / But now he's a lawyer! / Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer!" Phil Hartman was the best.
Editor's Note, September 29, 2015: This post was first published in October 2014. It has since been updated.