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From the "here's what you can do when you don't want to be a lawyer anymore" files, have you tried becoming an Internet entrepreneur? Of course you have, but you aren't as inventive as Matthew Homann.
Among his many projects, Homann created a website where people can create fake profiles for significant others they don't have in order to convince their family and friends that they have a girlfriend or boyfriend.
My Boyfriend? He Lives Two Towns Over ...
With Invisible Boyfriend/Girlfriend, you get to pick what your fake better half looks like (from a variety of stock photos), his or her name, age, and interests. There's even a Mad-Lib where you fill in the blanks to write your own meet-cute. But it doesn't stop there! Give the site your real phone number, and you'll soon receive text messages and even phone calls from your fake partner, so that there's no doubt in anyone's mind that Brett Bretterson is really real.
This is some serious "The Americans" stuff, right here.
Homann says he started the site as a way to silence family and friends are constantly annoying you about not having a girl- or boyfriend. It seems most useful for people who don't want their parents to find out they're gay or lesbian. For heterosexuals who just don't have anyone else, though, it's taking the fake "bae caught me sleepin'" photos to the next level.
It turns out the phone calls, handwritten letters, and text messages you get for $25 a month aren't generated by robots; they come from real human beings, paid to do "micro-tasks."
You, Too, Can Cast off the Shackles of Pleading Paper
Homann is no stranger to the Internet. ABA's Law Practice profiled him in 2007 as a former solo practitioner, legal blogger, and "visual strategist." His website, the [non]billable hour, focuses on making lawyers more efficient through technology and better pricing strategies. Currently, he's the owner of Kendeo, a business strategy firm.
"Invisible Girlfriend" won Homann a 2013 St. Louis hackathon contest. So just in case you thought there wasn't life after the law, there's hope! If being a fifth-year junior associate is too drudge-worthy, just invent that million-dollar idea and everything will be OK.