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The Most Epic Legal Slam Dunk Ever

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By George Khoury, Esq. on April 30, 2018 12:57 PM

Although the term 'slam dunk,' when used about a legal case often refers to an easily winnable case or motion, those are just a small subset of slam dunks.

Sure, some slam dunks are preceded by a clear path to the hoop, but the best dunks involve a blocker or two getting dunked on. And one attorney has set the bar for legal slam dunks rather high as he blamed a late filing on the recent Utah Jazz game 5 loss. Lucky for him, since his motion was unopposed, and the court was probably chuckling while thinking they would have accepted the filing for nearly any reason as it was only 18 minutes late, his motion was granted. Also, in a moment of apparent clairvoyance, in a footnote, he correctly predicted the Jazz's next game would be a win.

Jazz Pride in the Pleadings

Notably, the attorney did not blame the late filing on the Utah Jazz, but rather on the fact that they lost a game, which in turn made him temporarily too upset to work. He didn't even blame it on temporary poor performance of the NBA players, but rather, blamed it on the refs. He specifically claimed that "disaster then struck in the form of bad officiating, Jazz turnovers and poor shot selection ... " and more.

What's more is that this brilliantly lucky lawyer actually made the following statement in his argument:

But the emotional effect of an eventual Jazz loss (which began at approximately 10:00 p.m.) was, to say the least, dispiriting. The pallor cast on counsel's mind eventually let to submission of a written product that was twice as long and half as strong as it would have been had the Jazz emerged Victorious.

Just, wow. And there's even more. To put the court at ease over the non-moving party's response to the motion, it concludes by stating:

Although from Minneapolis, defense counsel does not object to this Motion. For purposes of this playoff series, he's a Jazz fan, too.

Fortunately, this concluding statement is footnoted, where it's further explained that the Jazz players "have won the hearts of people across the country."

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