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New Jersey's Hopewell Township is putting the kibosh on free range chicken sex.
Unlike their human counterparts, roosters located within city limits will no longer be able to freely sow their seed, transmit disease, and then crow about it.
Last week, Hopewell Township passed the first New Jersey chicken sex law, designed to regulate the quasi-romantic interactions between chickens in the city's backyard farms, reports The Times of Trenton.
As part of the chicken sex law, which very well may be the first of its kind in the country, the paper reports that Hopewell roosters may only court their hens 10 days a year--but only after they are first proven to be disease free.
In addition to mandatory pre-hookup STD testing, roosters that kiss and tell everyone will be barred for two years from visiting the hen in question.
Yeah, that'll teach them not to start any nasty chicken sex rumors.
If you're wondering why, in New Jersey, chicken sex is so important, The Times asserts that the decision was an attempt to protect the health of local flocks and to allow residents to backyard farm without infringing on the serenity of their neighbors.
Apparently recently satisfied roosters are really loud.
Weirdly enough, the chicken sex law is probably legal. Cities can, and do, enact zoning regulations that limit or prohibit backyard farming altogether. They can also usually dictate animal health regulations (rabies vaccinations, anyone?), and as many of you may know, they can certainly regulate noise levels.