Would you like to be rewarded for your vices? How about your love of alcohol? Then it may be time to move to Utah.
Two of the state's top regulatory spots will soon be reserved for burgeoning alcoholics if state Rep. Brian Doughty gets his way. He's proposed legislation that would make recent liquor consumption a prerequisite for at least two members of Utah's alcohol commission.
Ostensibly, that would mean at least two members can't be Mormon.
Now, now. This may not be Doughty's intended outcome, but it's what will likely occur. Utah's government is overwhelming composed of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, according to the New York Times. If you know anything about Mormons, it's that they don't imbibe. Not even a little sip here and there.
Some believe this has led to Utah's strict -- and strictly bizarre -- alcohol laws. Besides banning happy hour last year, establishments that serve alcohol have long been plagued by the "Zion Curtain."
The curtain -- an opaque partition -- serves the sole purpose of preventing patrons from seeing their drinks being poured. Servers can't even open a bottle of beer in front of customers.
Seriously, how are people supposed to know if they're being stiffed? Not that state law even allows a bartender to pour a double...
Rep. Doughty hopes the change will give Utah's alcohol commission "a real, current perspective on how alcohol is sold and used in the state," explains the Times. But something tells this blogger that commission members are already aware of how alcohol is sold and used in Utah -- very difficulty.