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For anyone who has ever urinated in an inappropriate place while drunk, you have now been topped.
Ran Scott Thompson, of New Zealand, was brought to the police station on drunk driving charges. After the 26 year old failed the Breathalyzer test, the arresting officer began to process his arrest paperwork.
Unfortunately, an odd noise broke the officer's concentration, reports TIME Magazine.
The sound of running water caused the officer to turn around and discover that Thompson was peeing on a box of 301 Breathalyzer tubes.
Honest mistake. Really.
Though we're admittedly are unfamiliar with the intricacies of New Zealand DUI law, here in the States, implied consent laws allow the suspect to choose his or her method of blood alcohol testing. The most common options are blood, breath, and urine.
Thompson was probably just exercising his right to choose the urine test. Seriously, it was an honest mistake. He was aiming for the officer's coffee cup and hit the box of tubes. It's hard to aim when you're hammered.
Wait, allegedly hammered.
Of course, the unreasonable officer didn't take kindly to the misplaced stream. Ryan Scott Thompson was charged with willful destruction of property on top of the DUI charge.
willful: [wil·ful] adj. : not accidental; done deliberately or knowingly and often in conscious violation or disregard of the law, duty, or the rights of others
Are you seeing the possible defenses here yet?
"Your honor, if I was as drunk as the officers say I was, there's no way I could have willfully destroyed that property. If anything, it was an accident. In fact, I was simply trying to exercise my right to choose a urine test."
Unfortunately, his lawyers weren't nearly as creative as we are. Thompson pled guilty to the drunk driving charge in exchange for a nine month license suspension. He also had to pay $88 for the Breathalyzer tubes.