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Philadelphia-area police made a "legen-dairy" arrest last month, nabbing the alleged "Swiss cheese flasher" who was caught on camera in at least one incident.
Christopher Pagano, 41, who's also known as the "Swiss cheese pervert," was arrested at his home in Norristown, Pennsylvania. Investigators determined that Pagano had driven up to women and offered them to watch him place Swiss cheese on his genitals, Philadelphia's WCAU-TV reports.
What was this not-so-Big Cheese charged with?
Taking a Bite Out of Cheesy Crime
Pagano's notoriety as a cheese-related community nuisance had allegedly spanned from October to January, with three separate court cases being filed against the fromage flasher after his arrest.
According to local court records, the alleged "Swiss cheese flasher" has been charged with:
The indecent exposure charges might be easy to shake off -- you can get one of those even for urinating in public -- but the other charges may be more serious. If Pagano has any prior record of stalking in Pennsylvania, he may be looking at felony charges.
Were 'Swiss' Drive-bys Lewd?
At least one of Pagano's cases is supported by a smartphone video shot by a victim. Wishing only to be identified as "Priscilla," one victim told WCAU how Pagano allegedly told her he "liked to put Swiss cheese on his private area."
During this encounter, Pagano allegedly had his pants down and Swiss in hand, as seen in WCAU's report:
Just like the Florida man who offered two women $200 to kiss their butts, the key element in both the harassment and lewdness charges is whether the so-called "Swiss cheese flasher" was performing a lewd act or using lewd language. There's no magic legal definition for "lewdness," but typically any request or language involving a person's privates would be considered lewd.
Telling victims about his fondness for cheese-genital conduct in addition to displaying both the cheese and genitals is very likely to be considered a lewd act. Any defense to the contrary may resemble the cheese that allegedly got Pagano arrested.
Sometimes that's the way the Swiss crumbles.