Block on Trump's Asylum Ban Upheld by Supreme Court
Another adventure in the ongoing saga of legalized marijuana: today’s episode comes straight from Happy — too happy? — Valley, Oregon, where 18-year-old Alan Alcantara, who could not look any more stoned in his mugshot, drove himself and a friend to the Stumptown Cannabis dispensary at 1:05 a.m. Sunday morning. Sorry, no, he drove himself and a friend into the Stumptown Cannabis dispensary at 1:05 a.m. Sunday morning.
The most shocking part of Alcantara’s tale? He might’ve been high.
On a Wing and a Joint and a Prayer
According to court papers, Alcantara's vehicle struck an unoccupied parked car before coming through the pot shop's back wall, Kool-Aid Man-style. An employee of the shop told The Oregonian that the dispensary wasn't open at that late hour, which begs the question: did Alcantara think the shop was open and fail to brake in time, or did he think it was closed and it was break-in time?
Between the other car and the dispensary wall, Alcantara accounted for over $1,000 in damage and sent his buddy to the hospital to boot. Police say the passenger was treated for a concussion at a nearby hospital. A Clackamas County sheriff's deputy also says Alcantara admitted to using marijuana before the crash.
In all, Alcantara racked up five criminal charges from one late-night excursion:
All told, our man is facing nine years in prison and $150K in fines, all because he followed that siren song of some sticky icky sativa. Learn from this, kids.