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Stoner Drives to Pot Store, Fails to Stop in Time

By Christopher Coble, Esq. on June 30, 2016 12:57 PM

Another adventure in the ongoing saga of legalized marijuana: today’s episode comes straight from Happy — too happy? — Valley, Oregon, where 18-year-old Alan Alcantara, who could not look any more stoned in his mugshot, drove himself and a friend to the Stumptown Cannabis dispensary at 1:05 a.m. Sunday morning. Sorry, no, he drove himself and a friend into the Stumptown Cannabis dispensary at 1:05 a.m. Sunday morning.

The most shocking part of Alcantara’s tale? He might’ve been high.

On a Wing and a Joint and a Prayer

According to court papers, Alcantara's vehicle struck an unoccupied parked car before coming through the pot shop's back wall, Kool-Aid Man-style. An employee of the shop told The Oregonian that the dispensary wasn't open at that late hour, which begs the question: did Alcantara think the shop was open and fail to brake in time, or did he think it was closed and it was break-in time?

Between the other car and the dispensary wall, Alcantara accounted for over $1,000 in damage and sent his buddy to the hospital to boot. Police say the passenger was treated for a concussion at a nearby hospital. A Clackamas County sheriff's deputy also says Alcantara admitted to using marijuana before the crash.

Charging Ahead

In all, Alcantara racked up five criminal charges from one late-night excursion:

  1. Driving under the influence of intoxicants -- a Class A misdemeanor, carrying a year in jail and a $6,250 fine;
  2. Reckless driving -- also a Class A misdemeanor;
  3. Reckless endangering -- another Class A misdemeanor;
  4. Criminal mischief -- in this case a Class C felony, carrying up to five years in jail and $125,000 in fines; and
  5. Fourth-degree assault -- another Class A misdemeanor.

All told, our man is facing nine years in prison and $150K in fines, all because he followed that siren song of some sticky icky sativa. Learn from this, kids.

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