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Theft is exhausting. Just ask Timothy Zacharie, who, after a long night of breaking into eight different cars and pilfering everything from credit cards and IDs to cash and gift cards, finally succumbed to the sweet peace of sleep in the eighth and final car, only to be roused by sheriff's deputies and hauled off to jail.

We guess it's true what they say: there is no rest for the wicked.

"If the murder is supposed to set me free," the old saying goes, "I certainly don't want to spend any time in jail."

Actually, that's not an old saying. It was Nancy Crampton Brophy in an essay entitled "How to Murder Your Husband." That was seven years ago. More recently, Brophy has been charged with actually killing her husband Daniel, who was found gunned down in a kitchen at the Oregon Culinary Institute this summer.

And they would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling aquarium goers, and staff, and surveillance video, and tips from the public...

In a robbery so brazen and ill-conceived that only the most generous would call it a heist, three Texans lifted a 16-inch horn shark from a tank at the San Antonio Aquarium, transferred "Miss Helen" to a towel-covered bucket, then wheeled her away in a baby stroller. They didn't make it far. Aquarium staff caught up to them in the parking lot, where the getaway driver had the integrity to leave his compatriots behind and speed off. He was arrested later the same day, and Miss Helen has been returned to her home tank.

With all the news of police shootings, many of which involve innocent or unarmed civilians and are caught on video, we might find it easy to rush to judgment of law enforcement officers after a firearm incident. But who among us has not attempted a backflip in bar around 1 a.m., had their handgun fall from their waistband, and then accidentally fired it into the crowd, striking a bystander in the leg?

It happens to the best of us, and it happened to off-duty, on-vacation FBI agent Chase Bishop in a Denver bar last month. The good news? The guy Bishop shot is going to be fine. The really good news? Bishop got his gun back.

The cops are on social media. We repeat: the cops are on social media.

They have access to your Facebook photos. They're getting your info from Twitter. They can use fake social media accounts to gather intel, and can even call themselves "Sweet Cheeks" to lure you into giving up your address.

Any self-respecting criminal should know the cops are all over social media these days. And yet.

As a school administrator, a good rule of thumb is to avoid so-called "scared straight" programs intended to intimidate students. Also, you don't want to invite police impersonators onto campus to carry out said intimidation. And, most importantly, you don't want to allow ersatz law enforcement to assault your students.

This may seem like common sense to you and I, but it was apparently news to the Leggett Community Learning Center, which is now being sued after a fake cop packing a real gun handcuffed and threatened to tase a child suffering from attention deficit disorder.

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And if you send your ex a bunch of "nasty" text messages and calls in violation of a no-contact order, you'll have to write a bunch of nice about them to make up for it.

So said Maui Judge Rhonda Loo to Daren Young last week, sentencing him to write 144 compliments about his ex-girlfriend in response to the 144 text messages and calls that he was accused of sending her. (We're guessing Young has to turn this homework in to the judge, lest he continue violating the protections order.) Loo's sentence got us thinking of some of our favorite odd punishments, from the Legal Grounds archives:

The plot to Ocean's 14 (or Catorce de Oceano, in this case) this is not. Still, it's a pretty sizzling heist story.

Over the course of almost a decade, $1,251,578 worth of fajitas got delivered to the Cameron County Juvenile Justice Department in Texas. The only problem? The Cameron County Juvenile Justice Department in Texas doesn't serve fajitas, nor has it ever.

We often warn people going on vacation to not be so busy on social media, for fear of tipping off potential burglars. Well, the same advice might apply to criminals on the run from Johnny Law.

Texas police tracked down a man on their most-wanted list, all thanks to an Instagram post.

Remember Judge Arnold Ogden Jones II of Wayne County, North Carolina? Maybe not. As a reminder, he was the esteemed jurist who tried to obtain his wife's text messages by offering an FBI agent "a couple cases of beer" and $100. Now-former Judge Jones was arrested, indicted on three federal charges, convicted, had the convictions overturned, subsequently pleaded guilty to paying gratuities to a public official, and has now been sentenced to two years probation, $5,000 in fines, and 100 hours of community service.

There are many reasons why a judge, even the one sitting as chairman of the state's Innocence Inquiry Commission, would seek to avoid incarceration. And there are many judges out there who might deserve to be behind bars. Here's a look at both.