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10 Legal Lessons Learned from FindLaw's Legally Weird

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By Tanya Roth, Esq. on August 20, 2010 10:02 AM

Can there be lessons learned merely from the antics reported over the past months of 2010 in FindLaw's Legally Weird blog? If so, you can be sure that the whimsical writers of these posts will be eager to bring them to you, piping hot. Over the past year, we have seen everything pop up in LW from grannies in jail, to snake attacks, to marijuana use. Lots and lots of marijuana use. For your reading ease and pleasure, herewith, a few of the legal lessons learned in Legally Weird, to date.

10. Do not coat your fellow man with any form of bodily fluids. Any vomit or other offensive materials being thrown on others will result in a lawsuit. See, Man Arrested for Attacking Woman with Bucket of Human Waste, Jail Time for Phillies Fan's 'Vomit Assault'.

9. 911 is for emergencies. Emergencies do not involve a lack of beer, a date or because the back door to someone's house is open. See, Man Arrested for 911 Phone Calls about Mom Taking His Beer, Florida Man Charged with Making 18 911 Phone Calls in 2 Months.

8. Drive through restaurant windows are for ORDERING FOOD. Singing, tantrum throwing, theft and other art forms are often discouraged by law. See, Teen found Not Guilty of Disorderly Conduct for McDonald's Rap, Wendy's Restaurant Robber Phones In to Complain, Melodi Dushane Arrested for McNugget-Related Attack.

7. You are never too old to get into legal trouble. Just because you look like someone's grandma or grandpa, doesn't mean the cops won't toss you in the pokey. See, Bad Granny: Did Elderly Woman Scam $1 Mil from Friends?, 'Geezer Bandit' Wanted in CA Bank Heists.

6. The First Amendment isn't just part of a stuffy old document under glass at the Library of Congress, it's real life! See, First Amendment Rights, the Middle Finger and Police Officers, Damn! That Could Get You 90 Days In PA.

5. Smuggling -- just never a good idea. 'Nuff said. See, Man Accused of Smuggling Cocaine in Soup Packets, Man Caught Smuggling Titi Monkeys in Girdle.

4. Be kind to our animal friends. There will be consequences. See, Jail Time for Woman Who Taped Dog to Fridge, Man Seeking to Rescue Stray Dog Arrested for DUI.

3. Facebook: it's not just for friends anymore. See, Free Speech, Right? Facebook Group Calls for 'B-Pee' Day, Police Find NY Fugitive with Facebook & Myspace Info.

2. Drive Safe! See, Atlanta Woman Hits Store with Car, Twice, Zombie Car Crash Creates Rescue Confusion.

1. Marijuana, lots of ... what were we talking about? See, Judge Rejects Marijuana as Holy Sacrament, Police Find Teen Hiding in Igloo with Marijuana Bong & Weapons, Pot Bust: Marijuana Smoke Odor Wafting From Chimney, etc, etc.

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