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What do $200 and a fake massage parlor inspector have to do with one another?
In a story that brings new meaning to the term "rub down," Edward Justin LaPorte, posing as a fake inspector, not only requested a happy ending, but demanded $200 for his time.
Edward Justin LaPorte, an ex-Illinois police officer, popped into a Lake Forest, California massage parlor on January 31. He was wearing a police badge and carrying a gun when he informed the manager that he was there to investigate a complaint, reports The Washington Post.
He was so into his fake inspector role that he also carried a metal clipboard to take notes.
The shameless fake massage parlor inspector then complained of back pain, reports Patch, requesting that the manager rub him down.
When she sent a masseuse into the room, Edward Justin LaPorte was naked, and, according to The Washington Post, requested a frontal massage.
Of course, once the parlor told the fake inspector that they didn't offer happy endings, he left, and they called the police.
Edward Justin LaPorte was arraigned today on charges of impersonating a peace officer, firearm violations, and felony burglary, reports the paper.
The burglary charge may seem a bit odd, but in California it is defined as entering a building with the intent to commit theft or a felony within.
Besides a happy ending, LaPorte entered the parlor with hopes of swindling the owner for $200. Even if she had given it to him willingly, he would have acquired it by fraud, which is considered theft in every state.